The Other Side of the Mirror
by mewpichu
Summary: When Kakashi unexpectedly wakes up in a world that's not his own, he needs to pull out all the stops in order to get back to the war front, even if that means enlisting the (very) reluctant help of some familiar faces. How hard could it be? M for language and adult situations
1. Beginning

Kakashi woke up.

His first thought was that this was a little strange.

One only tended to wake up when they'd been unconscious in the first place. And Kakashi made it a habit of only being unconscious when he purposefully meant to be. But he couldn't remember dozing off or falling asleep. The fact that he was waking up, then, seemed curious and more than a little problematic.

After the inevitable grogginess that came with forced unconsciousness had passed, he was able to focus his senses.

Smell.

A strong smell of… alcohol? It stung his nostrils, nearly overpowering his nose. Other than himself, two… no, three people had been in the vicinity recently. Three separate scents, though not very distinguishable from each other, lingered in the area. He was not alone.

Kakashi took a deep, relaxed breath as to not alert anybody to the fact that he was now awake.

Hearing.

Footsteps. Many distinct kinds, all of them muffled. He could hear the clicking of heels, the squeaking of rubber soles, the soft sliding of wool slippers. A steady, high pitched beeping. From a machine of some kind? It sounded close.

Touch.

The telltale feel of his uniform was gone, replaced with what almost felt like paper. A heavier material, a cover perhaps, lay over his supine body. He could feel the open air on his face. His mask and hitai-ate were also missing. He lifted a hand and pulled the cover up to his nose. No restraints. Whoever was monitoring him (because someone most definitely _was_ ) clearly didn't consider him a threat. That could be used to his advantage.

Sight.

Kakashi waited a beat to ensure that he in fact was alone before opening only his right eye. A white ceiling, white walls, and a window to one side. Flow-y curtains creating a partition in the room, dividing what appeared to be his bed and another. A door, brown, wooden, closed. Another door, also brown, also wooden, open. Leading to a small bathroom.

That solidified it. With his short investigation in order, Kakashi could now determine that he was in none other than… the hospital.

Again.

His entire body ached, but Kakashi reasoned that he had dealt with much worse. That didn't stop a groan from leaving his mouth as a particularly forceful throb pounded through his head. Forcing himself to sit up, he pushed the covers off himself, sat up, and swung his legs over the edge of the bed. Looking down, he could see the atrocity that he was now wearing.

It was indeed a paper-like gown that was typically found in hospitals, decorated with a mix of white and pale green floral patterns. His bare feet made contact with the cold tile floor and he prayed to whoever was listening that his clothing lay folded in one of the closets.

As he slowly shuffled further from the bed, he felt a tug at the inside of his left elbow. Looking down, he could see an IV piercing his skin, held down by an adhesive. He ripped it out of his arm and let it hang from the post it was connected to. Kakashi felt plenty hydrated.

He absently noted that next to the dot of blood left over from the IV needle was an interesting plastic bandage. He discovered after ripping it off that it had been covering a nearly recovered puncture wound. Perhaps they'd wanted to test his blood while he was unconscious? The small bandage was decorated with what appeared to be a cartoon character. The head of a white cat wearing a red bow. Strange.

He, however, paid it very little mind. He crumpled it into a ball and dropped it on the floor as he crouched down, intent on checking the single drawer in the bedside table in search for his clothing. A frown marred his face. Nothing.

Kakashi soon became distinctly aware of footsteps approaching from what had to be a corridor outside. They sounded rushed, with a small click that could've been a low heel.

He wasn't surprised when the door opened, revealing a middle age woman dressed head to toe in pale blue fabric. A nurse, Kakashi guessed.

"You're awake!" the woman exclaimed after a second, mostly to herself.

The nurse took a step into the room before reaching for a device on her hip. She didn't seem to move for a weapon, but Kakashi also couldn't see a hitai-ate. Then again, what village someone came from didn't really matter anymore with the Allied Shinobi Forces…

Kakashi's right eye widened.

Recent memories of the war came flooding back into his mind. The Allied Forces coming together for what seemed to be the final battle, the realization that Obito was alive after all these years, the Juubi preparing for a devastating attack… He had wanted to send the terrifyingly powerful creature off to another dimension, but Obito had appeared right in front of him as he activated his _kamui_ and then…

Kakashi whipped his head to stare directly into the nurse's eyes. She flinched at the motion. Not a shinobi, then.

"Where am I? What's going on with the Allied Forces?" he demanded.

"Oh, it's alright if you're a little disoriented, honey. You're in the hospital," she said in that sickeningly fake, sweet voice he often heard from the nurses he received treatment from, "You're in Kizamu City. Someone found you over by the bridge."

 _Kizamu_. Kakashi didn't recognize it. Must be a relatively small town.

He took a step back when he saw the nurse reach her hand out, most likely to touch his arm in an effort to appear understanding. But he didn't need her comfort. He needed to get _back_.

"What country are we in," Kakashi said urgently, less like a question and more like a command. It was vital that he got back to the battle as soon as he could. Images of the Juubi's attack flashed through his mind. Images of his friends, his comrades, eyes and mouths still open after death, pierced through their chests with giant skewers made of wood. Hyuuga Neji's face, peacefully smiling up at the sky, forced it's way to the front of his mind. He shook away the memory, not allowing himself to dwell on those already lost.

The woman looked confused. She responded, "Excuse me?"

Kakashi didn't have time for this. He repeated himself, letting a hurried tone from his pressing situation bleed into his voice.

The woman's eyebrows furrowed, possibly in confusion, possibly in concern. Perhaps even both. Her mouth opened and closed a couple times before she finally said, "You're in Japan."

Kizamu City. In Japan Country. He'd never heard of it. It must've been a very distant land for him to not even recognize it. But how did he get here?

"Maa, I guess I'm checking out early," he said before turning away from the woman and walking over to the window. It took the nurse a second to realize that he meant to jump out of it. She panicked, saying something about the fifth floor, but he paid her no mind. Kakashi didn't see how it mattered how far down it was to the ground when he intended on going up. Once he was on the roof, he'd be able to think and make a plan of action on how he was getting back to the war front.

Kakashi made it to the window and unlatched it before he felt hands on his arm. He had barely payed attention as the nurse had run to the doorway and screamed. It would seem that three similarly dressed men had barged into the room and decided to grab onto him. Two of them held onto each of his shoulders while the third held onto his left wrist.

On one hand, these were civilians. And he typically didn't favor intentionally hurting civilians. On the other hand, they were forcefully stopping him from leaving. Was it really such a bad thing to beat up a few civilians if they were the ones that started it?

Kakashi let out a sigh, and with a few well-placed hits to the head, all three were unconscious on the ground. They would be alright in a few hours, but they would certainly have a terrible headache for a day or two. The nurse, still in the doorway, let out an ear-piercing shriek at the scene. He was unable to see what happened next as he quickly slipped out the window and onto the side of the building.

Kakashi made a beeline up. It was only two floors to the top, which still made this a pretty sizable building for a hospital. Much larger than the old one in Konoha, before it was destroyed.

One he got to the rooftop, he took in the view. The city reminded him somewhat of Amegakure, but smaller and… better weather. The architecture was notably similar. Multiple tall buildings, perhaps 10 to 15 stories tall, stood very close together. He couldn't see an extensive pipe system like there was in Ame, but he would guess that this town, Kizamu, probably didn't get as much rain.

With tall buildings, though, he could expect a larger population to sustain them, which meant he should be able to easily slip away in a crowd. Kakashi looked down at the paper gown he was still wearing and made a mental list. He would like to have some real clothing sooner rather than later. And for clothing, he would need money. If he didn't want to chance digging around in the hospital room and attacking more civilians, he would need to resort to thievery instead.

Kakashi would also like to find a map of the area to help with reconnaissance. If he could find one that listed Japan Country in relation to the Elemental Nations, well, all the better. He could probably find one at a local bookstore if there weren't any specialized map stores here. Which meant money. Food as well, which meant money.

All in all, Kakashi estimated that he would need about 400 ryo, if prices here were at least similar to those back in Konoha. Hopefully, he wouldn't have to stay in this city for longer than a day. Once he was on the road, he'd easily be able to live off the land for free.

And with that, Kakashi leaped off the roof of the hospital to find a poor soul who could spare some pocket change.

* * *

 _ **Possible Failed Suicide Attempt, Man In Hospital**_

 _Kizamu City. A man was discovered unconscious in the stream below the Iwasaki Memorial Bridge this afternoon at about 3:30pm. Witnesses who found the man called the proper authorities and he was transferred to the nearest hospital. While the man seemed to have suffered severe blunt head trauma, doctors believe he will make a full recovery with plenty of bedrest._

 _If you or someone you're worried about are suffering from depression or are suicidal, please reach out to the Depression Helpline or call the proper emergency numbers._


	2. Reconnaissance

Kakashi looked down at the wallet in his hands.

The country he had found himself in had to be really isolated for them to not even use Ryo. Japan Country used something called a Yen, but he wasn't quite sure what the conversion would be. His original plan was to take 400 ryo, so he ended up taking the entire wallet with its contents of roughly 20,000 yen instead.

Because, once again, he was unsure of the conversion rate, Kakashi ended up taking the man's clothing as well. They didn't fit very well and pulled in some unfortunate places, but it wasn't a paper gown. Anything would beat the paper gown. He just hoped 20,000 yen would be able to cover food and a local map.

Kakashi walked down the street and watched a few children run past him, rambling about some movie. Civilian kids were the same in any country, typically quite cheerful and without a care in the world. Completely ignorant of the dangerous world around them. He wondered belatedly what day it was, and what the system of education was here.

Up ahead, he spotted a storefront with a neon sign advertising cigarettes and alcohol. And if Kizamu was anything like Konoha, cigarettes and alcohol also meant food. The automatic sliding doors opened for him and he entered.

"Welcome," the storekeeper said in a bored voice. He looked like he was barely an adult, perhaps running this store as a part time job. Kakashi gave a friendly nod and looked at the wares.

As he figured, this place sold a great amount of food. What he didn't figure, however, was that the premade lunches on the shelf only went for about 300 yen. His riches would get him much further than he first thought.

Sadly, they didn't have anything that resembled his beloved Icha Icha books. They did, however, have what appeared to be medical masks. Kakashi did see quite a few people wearing them outside and grabbed a box. His face had been feeling awfully exposed as of late.

With a boxed lunch, a couple _onigiri_ , and a box of facemasks, Kakashi went to the till. He watched in fascination as the storekeeper held a device with a red light that beeped every time it saw one of the items. A screen listed each item as the device beeped, along with the price.

"Your total will be 983 yen," the storekeeper drawled. Kakashi pulled one of the two 10,000 bills out of his-not-his wallet and handed it over. The kid rolled his eyes and made a sound of exasperation before taking the money. The money box opened by itself with a _ching_ and the boy reached in to grab the change. Kakashi was left with one 5,000, four 1,000s, and a few coins. He stuffed them into the wallet and grabbed his plastic bag before exiting the store.

Once outside, Kakashi set his priorities straight. He reached into his bag for the box of facemasks, ripped it open, and pulled one out. With something finally covering his face, Kakashi could focus on what to do next.

* * *

It took going to this town's Red Light District to figure out something was not quite as it should be.

The riff raff were not afraid to speak to him here. His unique appearance in a place where uniformity seemed to be encouraged didn't scare off those that didn't like conformity themselves. He was easily able to find people willing to talk after the offer of a few bills. Kakashi took notes in his mind from his various conversations:

There was no Konoha, there were no Elemental Countries, and there was no Allied Shinobi Forces. At the mere mention of shinobi, he got everything from a little chuckle to a full out laugh. Which led him to his next point.

There were no shinobi here. Wherever _here_ was.

It had to be _Kamui_. There was no other option other than the fact that something regarding Obito's and his own _Kamui_ had gone terribly, terribly wrong. And now, he was stuck in a world that didn't know his own even existed. For all intents and purposes, he could be in a completely different dimension.

On another note, something else he discovered through his impromptu research was how prevalent IDs are in this society. Even the wallet he had stolen had two of them. Kakashi would probably have trouble staying on high alert and sustaining a henge for days on end after a while, so if he wanted to be able to blend in, he would need some sort of identification.

The first person he found, a scantily dressed woman with scarlet hair, had been more than willing to help.

"See that seedy bar on the corner over there? Ask the barkeep for Marushita," she had said with a seductive smirk, "He'll be willing to give you what you're looking for at a cost."

He thanked her for her time and turned to leave, but he felt a light hand on his wrist. Kakashi paused and turned, allowing her to slide her hand up to his elbow and place her other on his hip.

"And who are you anyway? Seeking out a man like Marushita," she whispered into his ear. The woman was attempting to be seductive. He wasn't falling for it.

"I don't have an identity. That's the problem," he said softly, playing into her game just a bit. But when her hand migrated to his face and found it's way under his mask, he caught her wrist in a strong grip. She cried out at the sudden movement, but then smirked at him.

"Everybody has an identity, Mr…"

"Kakashi," he said, if only to have her stop her advances. She let out a little laugh.

"Don't forget, Ka-ka-shi-san," she said in a sing song voice. He nodded and walked away.

Kakashi followed her instructions. He waited until the street was dark and crowded. It was easier to be anonymous in a sea of faces.

This bar in particular seemed to attract the worst in humanity. A couple seemed to be fucking in the corner and doing some sort of drug simultaneously. One man was clearly hustling the darts board, and another was casually threatening some people at knifepoint. If anything, it actually reminded him a bit of back home.

The barkeep was rubbing some glasses dry with a cloth and looked up as Kakashi approached.

"What can I get for ya?" he said in a friendly voice. Far too friendly for a place like this.

Kakashi ordered a _Whiskey on the Rocks_. He honestly didn't have a clue what it was, but a man further down the bar had just ordered one. The barkeep made a sound of approval before heading off to prepare the drink.

People came and went out of the bar, but it never got too loud. A low mumble of voices mixed with the clinking of glasses filled the room. Kakashi contemplated taking up the hustler on a round of darts, but realized he would draw attention to himself by winning too easily.

"So, what's a lonely fella like you doin' in a place like this? Lookin' for somethin' to ease your sorrows?"

The barkeep's voice and the sound of a glass sliding along the counter pulled him out of his thoughts. Kakashi hummed before taking a sip of the whiskey. Years of training helped to keep him from wincing at the taste.

"Something like that. I'm searching for someone who might be able to fix a small problem of mine," Kakashi replied.

"Looking for a lady-friend?" the barkeep asked with an all knowing smirk.

"Not quite," Kakashi said, "I'm looking for a man by the name of Marushita."

The barkeep let out a long whistle at the voice, followed by a smug look on his face, "You're goin' straight to the top. What does a lonely guy like you want with the big guy?"

"A little birdie told me he might be able to solve a problem of mine."

"Hmm," the barkeep hummed at him, "Wait around. I'll see what I can do."

Kakashi raised his glass in appreciation and downed the rest. He slammed it down on the bar and, with a warm feeling in his cheeks, decided he'd play a round of darts after all.

* * *

Kakashi walked away from the dart board with his winnings of 89,000 yen. With his total savings now at over 100,000, he wouldn't need to worry quite so much about his next meal.

His face felt pleasantly warm. As a ploy to get him to lose, other patrons (mostly women) had been bringing him drink after drink. _He was the best they'd ever seen_ , they told him. They were obviously in league with the hustler. What the patrons didn't know was that Kakashi would easily be able to hit a bullseye with a sharp object no matter his sobriety. Being a professionally trained shinobi typically had that effect. Of course, he _had_ been steadily burning it off with his chakra. It wouldn't do to be legitimately drunk when he was on a mission.

The same barkeep as before flagged him over.

"Marushita will see you now," is the only warning he got before he was unceremoniously shoved through a curtain of beads.

The first thing that hit him was the smell. The air in the small room was earthy and absolutely full of smoke. It burned his nostrils and made his eyes tear. Kakashi was tempted to hold his breath if not for the fact that he'd pass out before getting what he needed.

He spotted a lone man sitting on a small, stiff-looking couch. The man's arms were covered from his wrists in a series intricate tattoos depicting flowers and fish. Perhaps they were a familial marking of sorts. The images snaked up his arms and behind the sleeves of his t-shirt. Kakashi idly wondered how far along the man's body they went.

Without a doubt, Kakashi was sure this was Marushita.

"Well?" the man said after a beat. Cutting to the chase, Kakashi thought.

"Maa," Kakashi did his best to portray a relaxed air. His hands found his pants pockets and he slouched his back just a touch, "I happen to have found myself in a bit of a problem. I'm told that you're the person who gets people out of them."

The man let out an ugly laugh, "I suggest you go to the whorehouse down the street if you're looking to escape the loan sharks. I hear they're hiring pretty faces. I don't deal with the sharks no more."

Kakashi touched the wad of cash in his pocket with the tip of his finger. A loan was the last thing he needed.

"Nah, I've got a bit of a… _different_ problem. You see, I've been around, doing some things," he responded casually, "I can't really have the police knowing who I am."

It wasn't terribly far from the truth. However, instead of masking an existing identity, Kakashi needed to hide the fact that he didn't even have one. A tricky situation indeed. Matsushita smirked and pulled a cigarette up to his mouth. After a slow draw, he blew the smoke directly into Kakashi's face.

"A fake, then. And why should I trust someone I just met?" he said, smug.

Kakashi smirked under his mask. Sometimes you needed to play a little rough with people like this. He countered, "Because I can count roughly 23 things in this room I can use to kill you without leaving a trace."

Matsushita paused for a second, then another, before his lips widened into a big grin. The man let out a full-bellied laugh and Kakashi could see trace amounts of spit flying from his mouth. He was ready for this to be finished.

"A hitman, then," he said once he calmed down from his laugh.

Kakashi let out a noncommittal hum but didn't correct him. He _was_ a contracted killer of sorts, after all.

"Ok, I like you. So, I'll make you a deal," Matsushita took another draw, but blew the smoke to the side this time, "I can get you a fake, one that'll fool the scanners and databases, but it's gonna cost you."

"How much are we talking?" Kakashi asked.

"I think I can do it for five," the man responded.

Five? Fifty? Five hundred? He noticed the slight look of hesitation on Kakashi's face.

"Five big ones," Matsushita said, his smirk widening once more.

Unlike ryo, yen was separated into pretty large quantities. The coins were small, at one, five, ten, one hundred, and five hundred respectively. The everyday bills, however, came in thousand, five thousand, and ten thousand. By 'big ones', he was _most likely_ referring to the ten thousand bills.

After his trip to the convenience store, it hadn't taken him long to figure out that 1 ryo came out to roughly 10 of the local currency. Kakashi did a quick calculation in his head. It came out to about 5,000 ryo. While that was an absolutely outrageous amount to spend for a fake ID, he didn't really have much of a choice.

"Do we have a deal?"

Kakashi hummed, "I guess we do. Half now, half when it's done."

"80, 20," he countered.

"40, 60," Kakashi offered.

"75, 25. Final offer," Matsushita said.

Kakashi fingered through the wad in his pocket before saying, "I accept."

"It'll be done in a week," Matsushita said. His grin reminded Kakashi of a shark, "Pleasure doing business with you."

"Likewise," he said.

Kakashi quickly handed over a third of his total savings and headed for the door. He couldn't stand all this smoke any longer.


	3. A Friendly Face

Kakashi sat at a not-so-seedy bar, drowning his sorrows. Sorrows that mainly stemmed from this world's price of alcohol, mind you. The action itself was very contradictory, but _alcohol._ In his mind he knew the price made sense in the context of yen, but spending 800 of something on a cup of _anything_ just felt wrong to his frugally minded self. It wasn't the smoothest cup of whatever it was, but it was the cheapest thing on the menu. The menu, like just about everything else in this world, he could barely even _read_.

The writing here was strange. While he was relieved beyond belief that it was a writing system somewhat similar to his own, it was still quite difficult to read most of the time. To best describe it... Kakashi would say it was very simplified. It was as if a child in the Academy got fed up with learning kanji and started to arbitrarily combine strokes and radicals. It would take some getting used to.

Kakashi took a sip of his drink. It wasn't very strong, but he was just starting to feel that pleasant warmth in the back of his throat.

The morning after his encounter with Matsushita, Kakashi decided to go to the library. The impressively sized building turned out to be a treasure trove of information. Reading troubles aside, he was able to find detailed books about this world's history, including influential figures and events. It turned out this was not _Japan Country_ , just _Japan_. And there were many, _many_ other countries out there. In those many, _many_ countries, roughly 6,000 languages were spoken. And he'd somehow landed in the country that spoke his. But that didn't make him any less fucked.

On the surface, this world wasn't really all that unfamiliar. They had wars and political spats. This world was much bigger than his own, but somehow had less bloodshed. Active wars were not terribly common, and most countries had agreements of some sort or another. Shinobi were not used to fight battles. Instead, civilians were trained in the art of weaponry that could function without the use of chakra.

While the people here attempted to keep the superficial traditions alive, actual shinobi and samurai hadn't existed for roughly 150 years. And he wasn't even sure that this world's shinobi knew of the existence of chakra.

In fact, it didn't appear that chakra was used here _at all_.

Kakashi was still able to use chakra. He could scale walls and disguise himself without a problem. It made it hilariously easy to gather whatever information he needed when he was consistently against civilians with no knowledge of his abilities.

Kakashi took another sip, watching the civilians walk by on the street. Every now and then he could sense someone with barely civilian chakra levels, let alone that of a shinobi. He wondered if they had other physical abilities that made up for the lack of chakra-

"Hatake-sensei! Did something happen to your eye?"

Kakashi was not caught off guard often. In fact, he could probably say he never was at all. But he would give himself a pass, just this one time, because walking toward him was none other than Iruka-sensei.

"Iruka-sensei..." slipped out of his mouth, a hand unconsciously moving up to touch the eyepatch and adhesives he'd bought earlier that day that were working to conceal his scar. This was strange. Iruka-sensei always called him 'Kakashi-san,' never 'Hatake-sensei'... The man approaching him laughed.

"Don't let the kids hear you call me that, or I'll never hear the end of it! I know you're not feeling great, but did you fall or something? Can I sit?" Iruka-sensei rambled. Kakashi gave an absent nod and the man sat down at the table.

Once Kakashi got over the initial shock, he realized that this man looked much different than what he was used to. The first thing he noticed was that the scar across his nose was faint. It looked much shallower than he remembered.

The next thing he noticed was that his hair was much shorter. His signature ponytail was gone, replaced with a simple, short haircut. It was somewhat reminiscent of how Tenzo kept his hair, short enough that it spiked up while not being too short.

The third thing he noticed was that Iruka-sensei was not in his Chunin attire. And Iruka-sensei was _never_ not in his Chunin attire. The familiar green vest was replaced with a sleek black jacket and the ever comfortable blue pants were replaced with black slacks. He was also wearing a collared shirt with a tie, which solidified Kakashi's realization.

This Iruka-sensei was not _his_ Iruka-sensei. Although this Iruka-sensei clearly knew _him_. That only meant one thing. His mind started working a hundred miles per hour. If there was an Iruka duplicate in this world that knew him, that must mean that there was a Kakashi duplicate wandering around as well. And although his duplicate was almost certainly not a shinobi, he may be intelligent enough to help him think of a way to get back to his home world.

Iruka-not-Iruka was just coming to the end of a sentence that Kakashi wasn't paying attention to, but he nodded anyway to keep appearances. Not-Iruka paused and took a good look at him.

"Are you sure you're feeling alright?" he asked. Kakashi let out a small 'hm,' not wanting to be out of character. Clearly, that was not the right thing to do, because the other man's face frowned with worry. _That_ was interesting. Apparently Not-Iruka cared about Not-Kakashi quite a bit.

"You don't look like you're feeling too well..." Not-Iruka started. Kakashi was startled at the touch of the back of a hand against his forehead. The soft skin was cool against his own, a stark contrast to the warm summer air. He then remembered the mask he was wearing. Back in his world, a mask was common enough. Nobody thought twice about a person wearing one. But he didn't have his normal mask. He had on a _medical_ mask, which people of _this_ world wore when they were feeling sick.

"Maa, I'm feeling much better now," he responded quickly.

"It was bad enough to call in sick," Not-Iruka said in his familiar Teacher Voice, "Are you sure you should be up and about? You seem a little out of it."

 _Shit._ "Not at all," Kakashi said, "I just have a lot on my mind."

"Whatever you say," Not-Iruka responded. He was clearly still worried for his friend, but Kakashi had a cover to keep. Kakashi continued to watch the people go by and took another sip. His previous buzz had completely vanished now that he was on alert. Such a sad loss.

They sat for a while in silence before Not-Iruka started to get up.

"Will I see you in school tomorrow?" he asked. Kakashi took a second to process. Were Not-Iruka and Not-Kakashi students? Or...

Then it hit him that Not-Iruka had called him 'Hatake-sensei' when he first approached. He was so used to the title that he barely even noticed it anymore. Could they possibly be teachers? It would be ironic that their professions would span across dimensions. Though Kakashi had a feeling they were a very different type of teacher in this world.

"I'm sure I'll be feeling more myself by then," Kakashi gave a non-answer. Hopefully that would keep Not-Iruka satisfied while keeping his cover. He got a 'hm' in response.

"Do you want me to walk you home?"

Kakashi almost said yes. It would be a surefire way to find out where Not-Kakashi lived in order to enlist his help. Then again, his duplicate was clearly sick today, and was most likely at home, in bed. If Not-Iruka walked him home, he would want to make sure he made it in the door alright. And that would clearly be a problem if 'his' dwelling was already occupied.

"No, I'll be alright," Kakashi said. It would be for the best. Being a shinobi in a world where they didn't exist, it would be easy enough to figure out where his new target lived. Kakashi would just have to plan a reconnaissance mission in the near future.

Not-Iruka pulled out his small communication-box ( _cellphone_ , Kakashi reminded himself) and excused himself. If Not-Iruka was walking as opposed to taking a bike or car, that meant he had to live close. It's not like he could run at any kind of speed like a shinobi could. But if Not-Iruka lived close, that meant that hopefully the school he worked at was near. And if he and Not-Kakashi worked at the same school, that would mean that Not-Kakashi lived somewhere in the vicinity as well.

Once Not-Iruka was out of sight, Kakashi downed the remainder of his drink, left some money on the counter, and started to figure out what the hell he was going to do next.

* * *

 ** _Man Jumps Out Of Window, Commits Robbery_**

 _Kizamu City. A man who had been transferred to the hospital after a possible suicide attempt last Thursday afternoon had awoken without complication. He proved to be violent, attacking hospital staff before jumping through a fifth story window._

 _Nurse Watanabe Aiko was the attending nurse at hand. Watanabe told us in an interview, "He was able to knock out three male nurses, and then jumped out the window. But he somehow went… up?"_

 _It is believed that the suspect had scaled the outside of the building to the roof._

 _Witness Tanaka Kenji claims to have been assaulted by the suspect later that afternoon._

 _"He just showed up in a paper gown and said he needed some money. I didn't have any to spare and I said so, but then he attacked me! When I woke up, I was in my underwear and my wallet was missing," Tanaka said in a brief interview._

 _According to Watanabe and Tanaka, the suspect appears to be a 25 to 35 year old man who is roughly 175 to 185 centimeters. He has grey/white hair and was last seen wearing dark blue jeans and a black jacket._

 _If you have any pertinent information on the suspect, please call 110 and notify the proper officials._

 _This story is currently developing. More details will come out as they are released by the police._


	4. School

This school was as easy to break into as the last five had been. In Konoha, there had been a single school: the Academy. He was absolutely not expecting there to be eighteen schools in the immediate area, including what he now discovered to be Kindergarten, Elementary, Junior High, High, and University.

He had thought back to what Not-Iruka had said when he was planning this mission... When he'd called him 'Iruka-sensei' in his temporary confusion...

 _"Don't let the kids hear you call me that, or I'll never hear the end of it!"_

Not-Iruka had said 'kids' specifically. 'Kids' back in his world perhaps meant a very different age group compared to this world, but Kakashi thought it would be a good idea to narrow his search down to under fifteen. That ruled out the High Schools and the Universities, but still left thirteen schools for him to search.

After going through two kindergartens ( _nothing_ ) and three elementary schools ( _still nothing_ ), Kakashi found himself breaking into his first Junior High School. He made his way to the roof to survey the situation. This school was larger than the last few he'd been to. And it was _much_ larger than the Academy back in Konoha. The students all seemed to be outside playing several types of sports, but he didn't see too many adults. Perhaps the teachers were all inside.

The main building itself was four stories tall. After a quick look from the outside, it appeared to have about 4 classrooms on the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th floors, with roughly 30 desks sitting in each class. That came out to about 360 students, more or less. It definitely helped that there were none roaming the halls.

Kakashi entered the building through an open window on the 2nd floor. He knew from the past 5 schools that the 'Teacher Room' was somewhere on the first floor. A file room of some kind must be around nearby.

The objective of Kakashi's self-imposed mission was not confrontation. It was merely to discover Not-Kakashi's home address. A face-to-face meeting would happen at a later time.

He _shunshin_ 'd from corner to corner, making his way through the hallway. Not that it was necessary. It was completely deserted. Nevertheless, better safe than sorry.

Kakashi quickly made his way to the staircase and cautiously descended down to the first floor.

He paused for a second as a flurry of memories rushed into his head. Seems one of his shadow clones popped. He mentally sifted through the information before coming to the conclusion that the target wasn't present at that school. Kakashi sighed. He only had the chakra reserves to make a few shadow clones at a time, so it was a pain when it turned out one of them had no useful information to report back. So Kakashi got back to work.

He discovered the door that led to the 'Teacher Room' and quietly snuck inside. Twenty four or so desks sat in the large, open room in four smaller islands of six. Most of them were occupied with teachers working. Kakashi could hear the light murmer of whispered conversation as well as the generic office sounds that filled the space.

He sat quietly, perched on the wall up near the ceiling.

Before long, Kakashi found Not-Iruka. He was mentally high-fiving himself after finally finding the man after so many attempts. And if Kakashi wasn't mistaken, Not-Kakashi should be around here as well. Except that... he wasn't.

Perhaps he was still sick? Kakashi was about to get up and leave when the door to the room creaked open. He had to pause when, in the doorway, he saw a man that looked so perfectly identical to him that it made him uneasy. Not-Kakashi shuffled in with his gravity defying silver hair, his eyes (both visible and decidedly _not_ red) lidded, and his mouth covered by a medial mask. He said a greeting before moving to his desk, diagonal from Not-Iruka's.

Kakashi waited a beat before shunshin-ing into the hallway and dispelling all of his active clones. The memories of fruitlessly searching schools came back to him, but there was no information worth remembering.

Kakashi had finally been able to confirm this as Not-Kakashi's school. Now he just had to find the man's address.

The neighboring room held a single man sitting at a desk surrounded by bookshelves of binders. As good a place as any to start, Kakashi thought to himself. He jumped on the unsuspecting man's desk, but he didn't even have the change to be properly terrified before he was knocked out by one of Kakashi's genjutsu.

Once the man was out of the way, Kakashi slid the door closed, twisted the lock, and got to work.


	5. Kakashi

Kakashi had definitely had better days. He was sneezing and coughing the entire way home and had to change his mask no less than three times. Not that a little cold would keep him down though. The only reason he'd taken a sick day the day before was that he literally couldn't get out of bed.

His first years had been as rowdy as first years usually are. The boys took no pity on him in his sickened state and the girls were too busy gossiping to pay attention. For the entirety of the class, he'd had to watch his back for paper airplanes while discussing the merits of pi and how it may relate to their future lives.

Kakashi typically didn't teach first year math. His typical classes were the third years, but Suzumi-sensei had called in some vacation days. It was a serious inconvenience for everyone involved, but somebody had to pick up those classes. And that somebody ended up being Kakashi.

He was certain that this cold was from a small case of overwork. The extra planning involved with his sudden workload meant that Kakashi wasn't getting as much sleep as usual. He was silently grateful when the Vice Principal told him to head home early and rest. He had finished his classes for the day and he'd already sufficiently prepped for tomorrow, so there was no real need for him to stay at school.

The walk home was short. Kakashi didn't live terribly far from school and relished the short commute. Not needing to pay for car expenses also helped ease his frugally minded conscience. After about 15 minutes, he was in view of his apartment complex.

Kakashi lived on the fourth floor of a large walkup. It was a relatively new building, however, which meant the units were incredibly small. Developers these days were trying to pack people in as tight as they could to increase profit. This lead to tiny living spaces for outrageous prices.

He began walking up the steps and could hear a couple crows cawing nearby. Kakashi suddenly saw something quickly move out of the corner of his eye and stopped for a second. He slowly turned around and jumped at the sight of an angry looking crow an arm's length distance from him. It spread its sizable wings and flew off. Kakashi stared at the crow retreating while he caught his breath. Once it was no longer in sight, he turned around walked to his door.

Kakashi paused for a second before sliding his key into the lock. He didn't know why a sense of anxiety had suddenly washed over him, like he was being watched. He elected to ignore it as he stepped through the doorway. It was probably just his exhaustion. The door swung shut behind him and he hung his keys on a hook on the wall.

He made his way through the tight space to his bedroom, where he dropped his bag on a chair. Other than the constant buzzing of the cicadas coming from outside, it was peaceful in his apartment. Kakashi pulled his laptop out of his backpack and threw them on his futon. Just because he was home early didn't mean he couldn't put a few more hours in. Kakashi could feel a headache coming on, however. He would have to make some tea to get rid of this cold once and for all. Kakashi then proceeded to pull out his dirty bento box before walking for the kitchen.

Kakashi's kitchen was tiny. It was definitely designed with compactness in mind and only contained what was considered absolutely essential. The sink could only hold a few dishes at a time and was a mere hand width away from the electric stovetop. There was a distinct lack of counter space, but he figured he could use the glass surface of the stove as needed.

Kakashi hummed to himself as he washed his bento. Umino-sensei had been worried about him today. He kept saying something about a bar, but Kakashi was quick to let him know he never even left his apartment the day before. Nonetheless, the other man wanted to make sure he was alright. He thought it was actually kind of cute, not that he'd never tell him that…

"Yo."

Kakashi whipped around at the sudden voice and proceeded to freak the fuck out. A man who had absolutely no right being his apartment was standing in the shadowy corner of his kitchen. Without taking his eyes off the intruder, his felt along the counter with his hand until he found the paring knife that he'd used when he was making lunch that morning.

How the hell had someone gotten in without tripping the alarm? And how did Kakashi not hear the man sneak up on him? Because he was surely not a tiny person, and these floors were squeaky as hell.

Kakashi tried to look as threatening as possible by holding up the small knife. Clearly, however, he didn't do a good enough job because the man fucking _chuckled_. His grip drooped before he held the knife back up again with new determination.

"Who are you and what are you doing in my house," he demanded, using what he thought to be his best authoritative Teacher Voice. Middle school children everywhere froze in terror at the sound of that voice. The figure took a stop away from the corner and into the light and Kakashi froze.

Kakashi didn't pride himself on keeping up with current events. He'd payed close attention, however, when Umino-sensei had shown him an article in the newspaper regarding a recent robbery. Now the description of the theft itself wasn't so interesting, but the description of the suspect nearly matched him to a T. It was actually sort of disturbing to think about.

So when Kakashi saw a man in his apartment that looked nearly identical to himself, he had every right to panic.

"W-who are you and what are you doing here?" Kakashi repeated his question, his voice wavering this time and at least an octave higher. He couldn't tell if it was because of anger or fear. The man took a step forward.

"Stay back!" he yelled, slashing the knife a few times in front of him. Kakashi could tell he wasn't even close to hitting the man, but he had to try anyway. His body went rigid when he heard that chuckle again. He swiped the knife a couple more times to no avail.

"There's no way you're hitting me with that stance," the man said in a relaxed voice, but Kakashi was barely listening. He could hear his heartbeat pounding in his ears. His fight or flight instincts were in overdrive and he was about to charge the man before he suddenly found himself on his back. Kakashi's head hurt from the sudden impact and he let out a small groan.

Kakashi belatedly realized that his feet had been swiped out from under him, but he was in too much pain to think about it. His eyesight was slightly blurry when the man walked into his vision.

"I gave you fair warning. You really had no chance coming at me like that," he said calmly. From his spot on the ground, Kakashi took a second to actually look at the other man. His gravity defying gray hair drooped slightly as he looked down at Kakashi's prone figure and his face was covered with a medical mask not unlike his own. What was startling, however, was the horrific-looking scar running down the side of his face, over his left eye. The lid itself was covered with an eyepatch, but Kakashi was willing to bet that with an injury like that, the eye was most likely removed. He wondered if this man had some dealings with the Yakuza with a scar like that.

Kakashi tried to get away when a hand was thrust into his vision. He scrambled, awkwardly pushing himself backward with his legs until the back of his head hit the counter. The man sighed.

"I'm not going to hurt you, you know. I just want to help you up. Your head can't be feeling great right about now," he said. Which is exactly what a serial killer would say.

Kakashi couldn't focus on the strong sincerity of his voice, only able to keep staring at the scar marring half of his face.

But he suddenly realized that in the excitement up until this moment, he had completely forgotten that he was the proud owner of a brand new smart speaker. It had been a present from Iruka for his birthday. Something about bringing him into the current century.

"Hey Asshole!" he screamed out. The _first_ thing he'd done when setting it up was change the nickname. It's not like he was going to call the thing by a human name. The intruder seemed _very_ confused.

His speaker was laying under a pillow in his bedroom. The fabric and stuffing would surely muffle any noises that the microphone would pick up, but if he could yell loudly enough, it might work.

The beep that would normally let him know the speaker was listening was too quite to be audible from the distance. Didn't seem to matter to the intruder, however, whose head whipped toward the bedroom.

After a second, Kakashi yelled out, "Call the fucking police!"

Kakashi could hear the quiet response from the device. The intruder could as well, but that was to be expected.

" _I'm not sure I understand_."

Kakashi grit his teeth. _Damn_ this speaker and _damn_ technology.

"Call. The. Police."

And then the intruder fucking _vanished_. There was a whoosh of air, and then he was just gone. Of course, he was back a second later, speaker in hand. Because of course this home intruder could break the fucking laws of physics.

Both men listened to the small black device as it said, "Calling Emergency Services in 5 seconds… 4 seconds… 3 seconds… 2 seconds… 1 second…"

The dial tone sounded for a second before:

"This is 110. What is your emergen—"

The intruder's visible eye widened. In a blink, he threw the speaker onto the floor and smashed in half with his foot. Broken plastic and internal electronics flew everywhere as the audio from the device quickly fizzled out.

Kakashi flinched at the noise and started coming to terms with the fact that he could very well die there on his kitchen floor. He could feel his body tremble and his mouth bob open and closed. All while the intruder watched him with an amused look in his eye.

Kakashi was in deep shit.


	6. Confrontation

A/N: Oh my goodness you guys are so quiet! Shoot me a comment or something! Tell me what you think! I don't bite, I promise!

* * *

Poor Not-Kakashi was going into shock. Kakashi didn't even see what about the situation would trigger such a thing. It's not like he even really _did_ anything. The teacher just bumped his head a little. There really wasn't any justifiable cause for the reaction that was happening.

Kakashi sighed. He realized that he needed to remind himself that Not-Kakashi was a civilian and that civilians had vastly different limits than shinobi, but _still_.

He hadn't been expecting Not-Kakashi to have some sort of voice activated device capable of contacting the police. It wasn't until he'd heard the voice on the other end that he realized this confrontation was going to be a little more serious that first anticipated.

Perhaps breaking and entering was something that was more frowned upon in this world.

Kakashi needed to think fast. The police were probably already on their way, but he couldn't allow them to interfere. Not if Not-Kakashi knew about some sort of clue that could help him get back to the war front. But this space was too cramped for him to work in. Perhaps he'd take Not-Kakashi up to the roof to negotiate? He did like roofs after all...

 _Knock. Knock. Knock._

Kakashi perked up at the sharp sound coming from the door. It couldn't be the authorities. Shinobi or not, they wouldn't be able to respond _that_ quickly. He took a quick look at his doppleganger, then the door, then back again. Kakashi lifted one hand signaling the trembling man to stay put, and another to his mouth signaling to stay quiet. There was no sort of response, but Kakashi didn't really expect one anyway.

Kakashi made his way to the door, carefully focusing the chakra in his feet to minimize any squeaking from the loose floorboards. The chakra signature on the other side of the door was minimal, but that didn't tell him much at all. _All_ of the chakra signatures in the world were minimal. So he did what he could.

Kakashi slowly opened the door a crack, keeping the scarred side of his face hidden behind the doorframe. If this was somebody that knew Not-Kakashi, perhaps it was better for him to imitate the man.

Of course, he really wasn't expecting the person at the door to be none other than Not-Iruka.

"Hatake-sensei, hey, you forgot your water bottle at school when you left so I..." the man started, a slight blush forming on his cheeks. With one hand behind his head, he held up the mentioned water bottle for Kakashi to take. He let out a small _thanks_ and he was just about to take it when-

"Iruka, get out of here!"

Suddenly, Not-Iruka's eyes widened and he took a step back. Kakashi, however, grabbed onto his shirt and roughly pulled him into the tight apartment. He could see the transformation of shock to realization to fear as Not-Iruka saw Not-Kakashi, still on the ground. His eyes darted back and forth between the two identical figures before landing on Kakashi.

Hesitantly, without taking his eyes off him, he called out, "Ha-Hatake-sensei. What's going on? Are you alright?"

"I've been better," the man responded.

"That's... that's good."

Kakashi sighed, making both men jump.

"You know, I probably would've let you go if it wasn't for this one," he said, pointing at Not-Kakashi. It was the truth. If his unanticipated guest hadn't been tipped off to anything out of the ordinary, there would've been no need to drag him into this.

"What do you want? Money?" Not-Iruka asked him, desperation starting to mix in with the fear in his voice. Kakashi only felt _slightly_ bad for being the cause of such a reaction.

"Maa, I don't need your money. But I do have a small problem that I might need your help to fix," Kakashi said, leveling his eyes with Not-Kakashi. The man seemed to shrink in on himself.

Back in his world, where shinobi were commonplace, civilians had an unspoken set of rules that they tended to follow. Not-Iruka broke _at least_ three of these when he felt the man attempt to tackle him while his attention was focused elsewhere. Kakashi's body was always prepared, however. The automatic response was to take the assaulters momentum and redirect in into the floor. That, of course, left a groaning Not-Iruka crumpled on top of a knocked out Not-Kakashi.

Shit.

 _Thump. Thump. Thump._

"What now?" Kakashi barely had the time to realize that he basically threw one teacher at the other before he was interrupted by a thudding on the front door. Not-Iruka was already here, so Kakashi attempted to think of who this could possibly be at the door. Confident that both teachers were too stunned to move, he made his way back to the front door. Kakashi quickly opened the door a crack before slamming in shut.

On the other side of the door stood no less than 4 police officers.

 _Shit_.

This was _not_ going as planned.

The thumping continued and Kakashi shunshin'd back to the kitchen, startling Not-Iruka.

"Looks like we're going on a little field trip," Kakashi said in the falsely joyful voice he often used with his students when they were still small and cute. He didn't give Not-Iruka the chance to contemplate what he meant by that before picking him up and throwing him onto his shoulder. He threw Not-Kakashi's limp form onto the other shoulder before jumping out the window. Kakashi barely heard the sounds of surprise coming from Not-Iruka. The police officers out front were bound to hear the sound of the breaking glass though as he made his escape.

Kakashi thought again about the roof and began running up the wall. Not-Iruka tensed in his grip, but didn't struggle. The man probably realized how much it would hurt if he were to fall from this height. He was possibly hyperventilating, but the steady wind made it hard to tell. Kakashi thought of the fact that he managed to throw not one, but _two_ civilians into shock in the span of not even thirty minutes. He was _really_ not a people person.

Once the three of them were safely on the roof, Not-Iruka renewed his struggle.

"Put me down right now!" he screamed, hitting Kakashi's back with his closed fists and swinging his legs any direction he could. He could hear the hyperventilation now. So Kakashi unceremoniously dropped both men onto the roof.

"What the fuck!" Not-Iruka exclaimed. His face was red and tears were forming in his eyes. Kakashi could hear him taking big, deep breaths in an attempt to calm down, "What the fuck do you want with us!?"

Kakashi sighed. This was become much more dramatic than was needed, "I told you. I have a problem. He might be able to fix it."

He steadied a finger at Not-Kakashi, slumped on the concrete. He was definitely going to be sore when he woke up.

"Fuck you!" Not-Iruka yelled, his voice becoming hoarse, "If you need someone's help, you fucking ask like a civil human being! You don't fucking assault them!"

Kakashi sighed. His patience was just about finished with all of the verbal abuse. It didn't matter what Not-Iruka thought. If he couldn't get back to the war front, _none of this mattered_. And currently, Not-Iruka was in the way of his mission.

So he quickly susshin'd behind the hysterical man and placed a well aimed strike to the back of his head. In an instant, Not-Iruka was slumped on the ground like Not-Kakashi. With the sudden peace and quiet, Kakashi could actually think about what he was going to do next.

Especially now that a squad of 8 officers had successfully climbed onto the roof. He picked up the two unconscious teachers and lifted them onto his shoulders, holding them down with both hands. Fending off civilians, police or not, shouldn't be too much of a hassle for him, even if he could only use his legs.

Kakashi ran at the first, jump kicking him in the midsection. The man grunted and took a step back, but wasn't down like Kakashi had been expecting. Either the officer had some hidden source of chakra he couldn't detect, or he was wearing a sort of body armor.

A second rushed him from the side, holding some sort of blunt, stick-like weapon. The wide swing was slow and clumsy, allowing Kakashi to easily dodge. He landed a round house kick to the stomach of this one, attempting to feel for soft flesh. Lo and behold, Kakashi felt the hard surface of armor hidden under clothing. A few more kicks to the other officers told him that the armor covered the majority of the front, back, and shoulders. The vulnerable points would be the legs and neck.

Now that he knew what to expect, Kakashi was able to for efficiently finish off the next few attackers.

Things were going well. Six of the officers were on the ground in various states of consciousness and he'd barely broken a sweat. Suddenly, however, he heard a loud bang and instantly felt a terrible pain in the muscle of his left leg. Kakashi winced and let out a grunt. The feeling was not unlike getting stabbed with a dull knife. It hurt like hell, but he'd had worse.

Kakashi turned around to see a man pointing a small black object at him. Thinking back to his previous studies in the library, he figured that this was the device called a 'gun'. And that he was most likely just shot with a 'bullet'. It was one thing reading about such a device in a book and quite another seeing it in action. Kakashi had to admit that it was fascinating that a device could be wielded by chakra-void civilians and yet still administer theoretically lethal force.

He would tend to his wound later. Kakashi could feel blood running from the open wound in his leg and he knew he had to finish this quickly. Not caring that he was against civilians anymore, Kakashi shunshin'd from officer to officer. Some of the officers were left merely unconscious, while others had been pushed off the side of the roof. Kakashi winced but didn't allow himself to dwell too much on it.

Once he was sure no more officers actively chasing him, Kakashi adjusted his grip on the two bodies on his shoulders and ran to find a place he could dress his wounds.

* * *

 ** _Developing Story: Man Jumps Out Of Window, Commits Robbery_**

 _Kizamu City. A man who had been transferred to the hospital after a possible suicide attempt last Thursday afternoon had awoken without complication. He proved to be violent, attacking hospital staff before jumping through a fifth story window._

 _Recent Update:_

 _The man has now been identified as Hatake Kakashi._

 _A woman who works in the Red Light District and wishes to remain anonymous claims to have encountered him. She told us in a brief interview, "He told me his name was Kakashi. But he didn't want to reveal too much, as if he was guilty of something."_

 _After an investigation by our journalists, it was discovered that there is only one citizen residing in Kizamu City registered with the given name "Kakashi." Hatake Kakashi is recorded as having the unique, white hair that was seen on the suspect._

 _Hatake is currently a school teacher at Kizamu South Middle School._

 _Police are currently investigating Hatake's connection to the recent crimes._

 _This story is currently developing. More details will come out as they are released by the police._


	7. Forest

When Iruka came to, the first thing he noticed was that the cicadas were really loud. Like, _really fucking loud_. His head was killing him, but the air smelled fresh and inviting. A groan escaped his lips as his eyes flickered open.

And he was... in a tree.

And it was a fucking tall tree too.

In a big fucking forest.

Iruka's breath began to speed up as his memories from before came back to him.

When school had finished for the day, Iruka had instantly noticed that Hatake-sensei had forgotten his water bottle. The guy was a germaphobe, so he never left home without it, not trusting the school's water. He also never left school without it. So Iruka thought he'd bring it by his house. It was an innocent favor for a... good friend. Yes. A _good friend_.

How was he supposed to know that the criminal Hatake-sensei lookalike that had been all over the news would be in the apartment, answering the door? But thinking of the way that Hatake-sensei had called him 'Iruka' made his face get unreasonably warm. Even if it was in an attempt to get him to run away. Actually, the fact that the other man was trying to protect him made his face feel even warmer. Not that he'd _ever_ leave Hatake-sensei knowing he was with a maniac like that.

Iruka had tried to tackle the criminal when his back was turned. Didn't work as well as he had expected.

But following the criminal defying the laws of physics and himself dropping so many expletives he would probably be disowned, Iruka had found himself on the roof. He wasn't quite sure what had happened. What he _was_ sure of was that the man had vanished in a _whoosh_ and then he was waking up in a tree.

The branch he was sitting on was rather wide and sturdy-feeling for a branch, though not exactly wide enough for his comfort. There was rope wrapped once around his legs, and then again around his torso. It left his arms free, but effectively tied him to the branch. The rational part of his mind reminded him that nature survivalists often did this to stop themselves from falling out of trees in their sleep. He'd have to keep his maniac kidnapper's small kindness in mind the next time he wanted to punch the man in the face.

Iruka loosened the ropes so that he had some more maneuverability but didn't remove them completely. It was clear that the ropes weren't supposed to be a deterrent. The height of the tree, a drop that would surely kill him if he attempted to descend it, was what kept him in place. He didn't even want to _think_ about how his captor was able to get not one, but _two_ full grown men all the way up here in the first place. Speaking of which...

Iruka looked around, searching for Hatake-sensei. He quickly found the other man, still unconscious on a branch slightly higher than his own.

The man had to have raided a museum or something, because right next to the branch Hatake-sensei lay on was a damn kunai with a note attached. Iruka reached out and grabbed the note. It looked hastily written and the handwriting was difficult to read, but it said:

 _Sorry about knocking you out. Got shot, needed something to wrap the wound. I'll be back soon, don't go anywhere_.

It was signed with a henohenomoheji instead of a name. Was this man an actual child?

Iruka pulled the kunai out of the bark of the tree. It was dangerously sharpened, clearly with the intent of being used as a weapon. But why would their kidnapper leave them a weapon? The only thing Iruka could think of is that he was confident he could take them out even with the handicap. The truth was, Iruka wasn't skilled at weaponry. He didn't know about Hatake-sensei, but he definitely wouldn't stand a chance, kunai or not.

Iruka's bag had been discarded back at Hatake-sensei's apartment, but he just remembered leaving his cell phone in a zipped pocket in his jacket. With a look of hope on his face, he pulled out the phone and turned on the screen. His hope was soon crushed at the sight of zero bars and five percent battery.

Iruka sighed and put it back in his pocket. There wasn't much to do except wait for Hatake-sensei to wake up and for their captor to return. He would figure out how to deal with whichever came first.

* * *

Hatake-sensei didn't take very long to wake up. What clued Iruka in was the disoriented groaning, followed by the, "Why am I in a fucking forest...?"

Iruka, now much more confident in not falling off the branch than he'd first been, stood up to see his fellow teacher. The white-haired man was still blinking his drowsiness away but seemed happy to see him.

"Good morning Sleeping Beauty," Iruka said with a falsely cheerful smile, "You're in a fucking forest because a crazy man knocked you out and put you in one."

Hatake-sensei squinted and Iruka's smile dropped. Perhaps he had a headache? He was never really given the chance to recover from his sickness. Iruka noticed the man looking down at the ropes and answered the silent question.

"It seems Crazy Man wants us alive. They're easy enough to untie, but they'll stop you from falling to your death," Iruka explained, more seriously this time. Hatake-sensei made a sound of understanding.

"Thanks for bringing back my water bottle by the way," Hatake-sensei said in a low voice, "I'm… I'm sorry you got dragged into this. Whatever _this_ is."

Iruka didn't respond for a second. If Hatake-sensei thought that he was going to get away with being his usual, mopey, guilt-ridden self, then he had another thing coming.

"Hey, it's not like you're in league with Crazy Man. Anyway, there isn't anyone else I'd rather be stuck in this kind of life or death situation with than you," the second the words slipped out of Iruka's mouth, his face turned bright red. He really should've run that through in his head before saying it out loud. The only consolation was that Hatake-sensei's face was just as red.

Ok. Iruka admitted that he had liked Hatake-sensei as a little more than just a regular colleague ever since they'd started working together. He acknowledged his interest but was never able to act on it. Let alone the fact that two teachers at the same school being in a relationship was high illegal, being a teacher also meant next to no free time. They didn't actually have the time to actually get to talk to each other all that much. So of course, the moment they're alone, he would start being awkward. Kakashi broke the stretching silence.

"So, ah, did the police ever show up?" he said.

"Oh, they showed up all right. It was right after Crazy Man threw me at you," Iruka said, reliving the memory and wincing. It had hurt. A lot.

"And?"

"And... Crazy Man managed to evade them with us on his shoulders."

"Carrying... _both of us_?" Hatake-sensei asked, his eyes widening. Iruka smiled grimly and nodded.

"So, either Crazy Man is incredibly amazing at parkour, or the laws of gravity don't apply to him," Iruka said. At Hatake-sensei's confusion, he further explained, "Without the use of hands, he somehow managed to jump out the window and run up the wall to the roof."

It was silent between the two for another second. Hatake-sensei blinked slowly, trying to comprehend.

"Did... did _more_ police show up?" he slowly asked.

"They did, but I took care of them."

Iruka whipped around at the now familiar voice. And at the surprising sight of Certified Criminal Crazy Man, he proceeded to fall out of the tree.


	8. Introductions

"There was a reason for the rope, you know," Kakashi said in a purposefully smug voice as he held onto Not-Iruka's ankle. He was hanging from the branch by his other hand.

He could've shown off and held on to the tree with chakra in his feet, but Kakashi was keen to not aggravate the angry wound on his leg with the sudden force of catching a person. While he'd cleaned and wrapped it up the best that he could with the resources he had, there was no replacement for good old medical ninjutsu.

"Just pull me up!" the dangling man desperately begged. Kakashi smiled under his mask and did as he was told.

Once Not-Iruka was back on the branch, he _attempted_ to throw a punch directed at Kakashi's face. He simply ducked out of the way, allowing the man's momentum to carry him forward until he was falling off again. This time, however, Kakashi grabbed onto the back of his shirt collar, holding him steady over the edge.

Not-Iruka's hands were flying out in a futile attempt to gain his balance. Kakashi let him stand like that before pulling him back with chuckle.

"Fuck you…" the man mumbled before sitting in the corner where the branch met the trunk to catch his breath. It was surprisingly easy to get the man riled up and he did so with joy. It's not like he was ever able to mess with his own world's Iruka like this, so he jumped at the opportunity.

Kakashi noticed that until now, however, Not-Kakashi hadn't made a sound, or moved from his spot for that matter. The ropes holding him down to the tree where still tied. _Smart man_ , he thought to himself.

It was strange, staring at a non-shadow-clone copy of himself. Not-Kakashi was missing his trademark scar and had both of his natural eyes. That alone showed how easy his life must've been. They might have looked the same on the surface, all the way down to the mole below the corner of his mouth, but Not-Kakashi didn't have the scars, the conditioning, the trauma.

They held eye contact for a minute before Not-Kakashi spoke up in a quiet voice, "You said you had a problem. And that you needed me."

"Hmm, that's right," Kakashi nodded and responded. Leaving Not-Iruka alone, he jumped up to crouch on the higher branch. He was now face to face with his near perfect double. Not-Kakashi's eyes were slightly lidded. Possibly from being sick, but probably from hitting his head on a cabinet.

"And," he continued slowly, "What might that problem be? How do you even know I can help?"

Well, if that wasn't the big question.

Kakashi decided that he needed to come clean about his identity if he had any hope of finding help from this world's version of him. It was now or never.

"Before I tell you that," Kakashi began, "I need to tell you who I am."

He could tell that the suspense was killing them. Not-Iruka was now intently paying attention, leaning forward slightly from his sitting position on the lower branch.

"And?" Not-Iruka said.

"And what?" Kakashi said, feigning ignorance for the hell of it. He was curious as to how they'd react.

Not-Kakashi's jaw tightened and his fists closed. If not for Not-Iruka's failed attempted earlier, Kakashi would think his double was thinking of punching him. He thought about giving them a goofy smiled, but decided against it. If there was ever a time to be a little more serious, it was probably now. So he sighed and composed himself, looking right into Not-Kakashi's eyes.

"My name is Hatake Kakashi," he said, raising a hand with his visible eye closed in a show of friendliness, " _Yoroshiku_."

"Stop bullshitting me," was the immediate response from the other white-haired man. His fists clenched tighter and he looked moments from pouncing.

"Huh?"

"I said don't bullshit me," Not-Kakashi almost yelled, "You can't be Hatake Kakashi. _I'm_ Hatake Kakashi."

"Eeeh heh heh heh," Kakashi said, raising a hand behind his head and closing his visible eye, "About that..."

There was no such thing as the best way to explain that you came from an alternate dimension. So Kakashi dove in head first.

Excluding any names out of fear for duplicates in this world, he explained the basics of his world, including chakra mechanics, the war, and _kamui_. As expected, the explanation was peppered with small exclamations of ' _fuck off_ ,' ' _you're a maniac,_ ' and ' _you crazy asshole_.'

All in all, it went better than expected.

"I know it may not look it, but I'm actually a War General," Kakashi said. All the more reason it was vital that he got back to the war as soon as he could.

"That's it. You're crazy," Not-Iruka said to him. Facing Not-Kakashi, he said, "This guy's totally lost his mind."

Kakashi sighed and both men whipped their heads toward him. He winced at the reaction. All in all, Kakashi really wasn't doing the best job at getting them on his side. He had to try a different route.

"Look. If I don't get back, a lot of people could die. The guy who sent me over here, he's still there killing people," Kakashi explained, his voice heavy with the gravity of his situation. In the time he'd spent in this world, he hadn't seen any sort of sign that Obito had come with him. That only left the possibilities that he was torn apart on a molecular level in the dimensional void, or that he was still kicking in their world. Kakashi was inclined to believe the latter.

"Ok," Not-Kakashi said with a heavy sigh, "If we pretend, just for a second, that you're not totally out of your mind, what could you _possibly_ need my help with?"

Kakashi smiled. It seemed playing the humanitarian card was working. He responded, "I'm smart. And you're me."

"You're point?"

"If I'm smart and you're me," Kakashi started, going through his logic like he was talking to freshly graduated Genin, "then you should be smart, too."

Not-Kakashi opened his mouth before closing it again. He did so a few more times before thinking of how to respond, "I'll... I'll take the compliment, but I'm not sure what you're asking for."

"I urgently need to get back to my world," Kakashi explained. He watched for both men to nod their heads in understanding before he continued, "And two heads are better than one, right?"

"Wait. You... you want to _brainstorm_ ways to get you back to your dimension..."

"Yeah, that's about right," Kakashi said, showing his smile through his visible eye. He had to admit, it wasn't the best thought out plan now that he heard it out loud and it definitely wasn't guaranteed to get results. But it was the best thing he had at the moment.

"Prove it."

Kakashi jerked his head to look at Not-Iruka. The man had been silently listening from the lower branch. Was he still caught up on the whole War General thing?

"Prove what? My title?" he asked.

"No, asshole," Not-Iruka said with a scowl, "Prove this whole chakra thing exists."

Oh, that wasn't so bad. Of all the things he needed to prove to gain their trust, the existence of chakra was among the easiest. He wouldn't do anything flashy or chakra intensive, but a simple demonstration to keep them on their toes wouldn't hurt.

"Ok," Kakashi said before rising into a relaxed standing position. He made sure Not-Iruka and Not-Kakashi had their eyes on him before he began.

And with a sense of malicious joy, he slowly leaned backwards until he fell off the branch.

Kakashi could see the two faces morph from anger to nervousness to dread as he disappeared from view. Of course, he wasn't actually going to let himself fall. That would hurt. A lot. But they didn't know that.

Using chakra in his feet, Kakashi slid around the circumference of the branch until he was standing upside down. The illusion worked, however, and he soon saw two horrified faces pop out from over the branches. Once it was clear that he wasn't going to fall to his death, the horrified faces transformed to hold looks of wonder.

He could see Not-Iruka's eyes glistening from his vantage point. His mouth wavered before he whispered, "Amazing."

Kakashi was certain that the word was not meant to be said out loud, because the moment Not-Iruka realized, he corrected, "But I'm still pissed at you."

"Do... Do you need a hand getting up?" Not-Kakashi asked in a dazed voice, as if he couldn't believe his eyes. He couldn't be blamed for the reaction however. In his experience, civilians often acted that way when faced with the unexpected.

"No, I'm good," he said before walking over to the trunk. From there, he walked up to the trunk to the lower branch, hiding his wince at the sharp pain in his leg. They both continued to stare in wonder at his gravity defying tricks, but Not-Iruka clearly noticed the bandages below his pants.

"You said in your note that you got shot," he said, clearly skeptical, "It's all wrapped up, but your leg seems fine."

He'd had to cut off the fabric at the knee, exposing the lower half of his left leg. The time it would take to search for basic medical equipment was the reason for, well, the tree. Kakashi didn't want the two of them to be able to run off while he was preoccupied. He was able to purchase medical bandages and an alcoholic beverage called _Vodka_ to clean the wound. It did the trick, but he still needed to wait for it to heal naturally. Once again, the distinct lack of medical shinobi was one of the big drawbacks of this world. Kakashi gave it two to three hours before he'd have to change the bandages again.

"Oh, I got shot all right. But I've had worse," Kakashi reassured them. It was the truth. Being a shinobi was not the safest path and he'd been near death many, many times.

"You've had... Damn, I'm not even gonna ask."

Not-Kakashi spoke up, "So, uh, let me get this straight. You're a _ninja_ ("Shinobi," Kakashi corrected.), and you can walk up trees using your chakra. And that's how you got us up here."

"Well, I can walk up walls, too," Kakashi said, patting the sole of his foot, "The chakra acts almost as an adhesive. I use it to push and pull, allowing me to stay on the surface. It's a little trickier when it comes to walking on water though."

"You can walk on water?" Not-Kakashi quickly asked. His eyes widened at the possibility, "What about walking on air?"

"Uhh, no," he responded sheepishly, "And the reason for that would require a scientific explanation that I don't feel like giving right now."

The conversation settled for a moment. Not-Kakashi seemed to be deep in thought. Not-Iruka, however, seemed to be attempting to stare a hole into him.

"Well, this has been very educational and all, but we have work in the morning," the man said dryly. Kakashi had nearly forgotten that it was the middle of the week. Their school would surely notice if they both went missing without a trace. He continued, "And it's pretty clear now that you're not going to kill us. So, I know it might be hard, but if you can calm the crazy down just a bit, I'm sure we can work something out."

Not-Kakashi looked back and forth between the two of them. This was, surprisingly, going _much_ better than first expected. Kakashi hummed. He responded, "Yes, I'm sure we can."

Not-Kakashi noticeably looked toward the ground, and then back at him. He took that moment to pipe up, "So, uh, when are you gonna let us down?"

And Kakashi just smiled.


	9. Run

**A/N: Hello! I hope you've been enjoying my story so far! This chapter marks the end of the section I like to affectionately call the Who-Is-This-Crazy-Man-Who-Keeps-Messing-Up-My-Life Arc!**

 **I officially have all of my chapters laid out, which is super exciting! It's looking like it's gonna be 26 chapters with around 45k words or so.**

 **Anyway, I want to let you know that I will be going on vacation in a couple days. Fortunately for me, unfortunately for you, I will be on vacation until the end of August! While I've been updating very frequently, I can't guarantee how often I'll update while I'm out gallivanting. Honestly, I will most likely upload some chapters, but if you don't hear from me for a little while, you know that I'm not dead!**

 **(Also, I love comments and I don't bite, I swear!)**

 **That's all for now, so enjoy!**

* * *

"I swear he enjoys fucking with us," Kakashi angry-whispered to Iruka. The two of them were walking side by side through town, followed by the ninja in question by a few meters.

Ninja Man, because Kakashi _refused_ to call him _anything else_ , had of course let them out of the tree eventually. But he didn't do so without freaking them out a little bit more. Chakra, energy, the Force, _whatever_ the man used gave him supernatural abilities. He couldn't fly or anything, but jump down 10 meters and land without breaking anything? No fucking problem.

He'd let Iruka go down first. The younger teacher had always been a little easy to rile up and was probably freaking out more than him. What he wasn't expecting was for Ninja Man to scoop Iruka up in his arms, bridal style. Then they jumped down. He could see Iruka's fists clutch onto the man's jacket and his head tuck into his neck. Honestly, the poor man was probably trembling the whole way down. Kakashi reasoned that he would be terrified too if he were dropping roughly 30 meters to the ground over the span of three jumps.

Of course, Kakashi was soon able to test that reasoning when Ninja Man came back for him.

What basically felt like free falling topped the list of most terrifying things he'd ever done in his life. He understood why Iruka had held on like he did when he felt like his heart was about to fly out through his throat.

Insane stunts aside, Ninja Man helped them get back to civilization. It was night now, and the streets were deserted. The current plan was to keep Ninja Man at Iruka's for the meanwhile.

Kakashi reminded himself that the other teacher could often act a bit like a mother hen at times. He could be a bit fussy sometimes, maybe even a little overprotective, but only in the most endearing, caring way possible. Iruka seemed to really worry about his wellbeing, which probably explained was why he was so quick to offer up his guest bedroom. That, and he actually _had_ a guest bedroom.

Once the whole mess with housing Ninja Man was settled, he could finally get home, take some medicine, and go to bed. The self-proclaimed ninja could keep himself occupied during the day while they were at work, and they would all collaborate at night.

Kakashi still wasn't sure what he could do to help. Ninja Man had called him smart, and it was a nice compliment, but he was a Middle School math teacher for crying out loud! He didn't typically spend his days exercising his brain by theorizing different methods of traveling through dimensions he didn't even know existed until a couple hours ago.

Ninja Man seemed very insistent on him helping specifically, however. But Kakashi was pretty sure at this point that he would be of absolutely no help. But if he had to sit there and be a Yes-man, constantly nodding his head away, well, yeah, he could do that. He could bullshit his way right through this whole crazy mess of an experience and pass it off as collaboration. Sure.

Kakashi's face soured at the thought of how long he would have to put up with this absurd partnership. A couple days? A month? Even longer?

'Collaboration' had become his new mantra.

 _It's just a little collab project_ , he thought to himself, taking a small peek at Iruka next to him before looking away, _just for a little while. Just until the crazy Ninja Man can get home._

Of course, that _was_ the plan. That was before he noticed the fliers posted in all the store windows.

What drew him to the fliers was a black and white three-quarter-view photo of his face printed at the top, centered on the page. Iruka turned his head to watch as he pulled one of them off the glass storefront window. Ninja Man didn't seem concerned.

What the flyer said, however, should've made him _very_ concerned.

"Fuck. Uh, guys?" Kakashi said, calling the two other men over to him. When he successfully got their attention, he hesitantly continued, "I have an arrest warrant."

Iruka's eyes widened and his mouth moved to form a silent 'What?' before running over. Ninja Man did that crazy whoosh-y thing and _instantly teleported_ to his side instead. Kakashi jumped at the sudden man leaning over his shoulder, but then proceeded to show them both the flyer.

* * *

 ** _Breaking News: School Teacher Kills 3 Police Officers_**

 _A warrant is now out for Hatake Kakashi's arrest._

 _In a shocking development, Kizamu South Middle School teacher Hatake Kakashi has now killed 3 police officers and assaulted another 5 police officers. A search for Hatake had been occurring in the local Kizamu area after violent attacks including a robbery. The search has since expanded to the larger Kanto Area._

 _The police officers who were killed are assumed to have been pushed off of the roof of Hatake's 7-story apartment building. This was after responding to a cut-off emergency call. All 3 passed away in the hospital. The other 5 were discovered unconscious on the roof. The police believe that the call was an attempt to lure officers to the premises._

 _He is accompanied by fellow Kizamu South Middle School teacher Umino Iruka as well as an unidentified, white haired man, who is a possible relative._

 _All three men are being considered extremely dangerous and we urge you to stay away. If you have any information, please inform the police._

 _This story is currently developing. More details will come out as they are released by the police._

* * *

All three men stared at the page for a beat, and then another.

"Maa," Ninja Man mumbled, breaking the silence, "That's not good."

"That's not..." Kakashi whipped his head to glare at him. _Understatement of the year_? He then proceeded to freak out. His voice began to crack as he said, "All you say is 'That's not good'? I have a fucking arrest warrant!"

"Well, technically it's _me_ with the warrant," Ninja Man said, the smart ass. Kakashi really shouldn't have been surprised when the punch he threw at the man's face was dodged by a sidestep. He felt a hand grab his shirt to stop him from falling forward with the momentum.

"We're effectively the same fucking person you idiot," Kakashi yelled, his voice starting to crack again, "Whatever shit you decide to do fucks me over too."

Ninja Man had the gall to look sheepish while he wanted to pull his own hair out. He said a small apology with a hand behind his head, but Kakashi wasn't about to accept it. Things were not looking good. In fact, things were looking downright terrible. Kakashi was well aware of the 99% conviction rate in Japan. He was sure Iruka knew of it as well.

If he was arrested and convicted, which seemed likely no matter his actual innocence, the death of three officers would be more than enough for the death penalty. He told as much to Ninja Man.

"It could be worse. T&I back where I'm from typically skips the trial and gets right into it," was the nonchalant response. Where the fuck did this guy come from where bullet wounds were nothing and the death penalty was a walk in the park?

"Do I even want to know what T&I stands for?" Kakashi asked, mostly to himself.

"...Probably not."

They were quiet for a moment.

"Well, whatever we do, we clearly can't stay here," Iruka said, his voice wavering slightly. As much as it pained Kakashi to say it, he was right. Kizamu City would be on high alert. The police knew where they lived and where they worked. It would only be a matter of time before they were found if they stayed in the nearby area. And if what the flyer said was true and the authorities were searching the entire Kanto region, well the nearby area just so happened to be a _very big area_.

Ninja Man looked at Iruka with a blank stare, possibly meant to be comical, and asked, "Happen to know of anybody that would be willing to shelter a few well meaning fugitives?"

Once again, Kakashi wanted to pull his own hair out.

Iruka seemed to be drawing a blank, but Kakashi, after a minute of thinking, surprisingly had a possibility in mind. His old professor from university lived up north in Hokkaido with his family. That would at least get them out of Kanto.

While he hadn't spoken with Namikaze-sensei in what felt like quite a while, they'd had a very good professional relationship by the end of his academic career. And while Kakashi preferred to study tangible mathematics, Namikaze-sensei specialized in the abstract. He would probably be fascinated by the existence of actual alternate dimensions. The more Kakashi thought about it, the more it seemed like his old professor would also be their best bet to help with Ninja Man's unique problem…

He said as much to the two other men.

Ninja Man… liked his solution. In fact, it was a little unnerving how fast he was on board with it. Iruka, however, was very quick to point out the flaws in the impromptu plan.

"How the hell are we supposed to get up to Hokkaido? It's not like we can take the Shinkansen. Not with our names and faces known like this," he said. And Iruka had a point. By train, the northern island itself was only about four and a half hours away from Tokyo Station. To get to the outskirts of Sapporo, where Namikaze-sensei lived with his family, would be another four hours. But they definitely wouldn't be able to make it through Tokyo of all places without being found out. And all of the stations had security cameras, meaning they wouldn't even be able to get _close_. Busses were out for the same reason.

"I'm not sure what a _Shinkansen_ is, but my professional recommendation would be to go there on foot," Ninja Man spoke up. A silence fell upon the three of them and Kakashi tried to muster up the very best ' _What the fuck_ ' stare he could.

The white haired man noticed the stare and was pointedly unaffected. He sighed and continued, "I'm a shinobi. Surviving in the wild isn't a problem. Point us in the right direction and I can make sure we all get there safely."

Kakashi could see a noticeable change in Ninja Man. He was suddenly acting much more like what he would expect from, well, a _ninja_. The goofy-ness from earlier was gone, replaced with an air of cool efficiency. He was, quite literally, a man on a mission. It seemed there was a silent agreement between the three of them.

"First things first. You don't have any sort of tracking seal on you, do you?" Ninja Man questioned, looking between the two of them.

"If by 'seal' you mean a device or something," Iruka spoke up, clearly still peeved by the whole situation, "then no, no we do not."

"Good," Ninja Man said, "Then let's head out. We can camp out in the forest for the night. It'll be better than staying near civilization."

* * *

Kakashi's feet were sore by the time they'd made it back into the forest surrounding Kizamu City. They'd hiked until they'd found a spot that had satisfied their guide, which had taken significantly longer than he expected it would. He still wasn't quite believing that he was about to camp out in a forest with his colleague and a crazy man, but his head hurt way too much for him to complain about it. Kakashi absently realized through the painful throbs that he'd never been able to take his medicine for the day

It was already well into the night at this point. Kakashi figured that the sun would be rising in only a couple hours and he desperately needed all the sleep he could get. That's why, once they'd _finally_ stopped walking, he nearly collapsed right on the spot.

Iruka spoke up. Something about Ninja Man needing sleep as well in order to function. That they should take turns keeping watch in order to make sure they were all well rested for the journey ahead. The white haired man chuckled at the notion and Kakashi was certain he was going to be hearing that dreaded laugh in his nightmares.

"My missions often include playing security guard for traveling civilians," Ninja Man assured them. Kakashi didn't miss the way he said 'played' as one would if they were simply playing a game of make believe. It didn't make him feel any better, and he was sure Iruka felt the same way. He clarified, "I'm very used to keeping watch for long periods without sleep."

He was skeptical, and he could tell Iruka was as well, but he played along anyway. Kakashi was about lay down on the forest floor when he noticed Ninja Man jump high up into a tree. The ninja could probably see the look of worry on his face, because he gave him a thumbs up with that infernal eye-smile thing he'd been doing a lot lately. But Kakashi was way too tired to care all that much. He noticed Iruka had already started to lie down, so he let out a sigh and took up a spot behind him.

Kakashi really wasn't sure why he did it, but not long after Iruka had fallen asleep for the night, he innocently placed his arm over the man's waist. He justified it in his head by saying closeness typically helped people process difficult situations. And if this wasn't the definition of 'difficult situation,' he wasn't sure what was. His face turned bright red however as the other man moved backwards to rest right up against him in his sleep.

Warmed by the heat of Iruka's body, it took Kakashi a little bit longer than usual to fall asleep.


	10. Unspoken

**A/N: Hello! Vacation's going well, so I'd thought I'd drop you a little present! In other words, I just realized this chapter's been up on Ao3 for like a week now and I wanted my accounts to be up to date with each other. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it! This was a really tough chapter for me to write and I'm still not totally happy with it, so I'd love to know what you think!**

 **WARNING: Mentions of depression and suicide. Mentions are small, but they're still there.**

* * *

 **Day 1**

* * *

"Don't worry about the ID anymore," Kakashi said. Marushita somehow seemed even more disgusting than the last time he'd been there, "I'm kind of a national criminal now, so it wouldn't be of much use to me anyway."

Marushita, who Kakashi now knew was an influential figure in the local Yakuza ring, was clearly used to getting his way. That's why he wasn't surprised when the mad had appeared pissed and tried to throw a chair at him. He dodged.

"I just thought you'd be happy to know," Kakashi said. And truly, he did. It hadn't been quite a week yet and so the ID he'd ordered wasn't scheduled to be finished just yet. Marushita had already received three quarters of the payment he requested, without the pressure to actually finish and deliver the product.

Kakashi smiled at the incredulous expression on his face before dissipating in a cloud of smoke.

* * *

The memories of his shadow clone came back to him. He wished he had another shadow clone only to see the look on Marushita's face when the smoke cleared. Now that that was out of the way, he was able to focus more on the task at hand.

They'd been walking for nearly 8 hours already. Since beginning their journey, Kakashi had learned that their origin, Kizamu City, was just northwest of Tokyo, the capital of Japan. And while he'd had no problem keeping to the painstakingly slow civilian pace, Kakashi could tell that the two civilians were quite out of breath.

When they'd passed a sign signaling their entrance into Gunma Prefecture, there was a collective groan.

Therefore, Kakashi had made the executive decision to declare it time for lunch.

Not-Iruka, the least recognizable of the three, used a small bit of his pocket money to buy food and bandages for his leg at a local convenience store. It was a good thing Kakashi still had the money that he did, because the other two men weren't able to bring any in the confusion that resulted in them being on the run in the first place.

After they'd found a nice bench to sit on, Kakashi thought it would be a good time to check on the status of his leg. Though Not-Hatake was quite squeamish when it came to him changing his bandage, Not-Iruka seemed fascinated by the bullet wound. He wondered if the man was interested in science or healing arts. After a minute of silence, he decided to ask.

"Hey, Not-Iruka—" Kakashi started, but was immediately cut off.

"Wait. Let me stop you there," said the man in question, "'Not-Iruka'? Is… is that something you've calling me in your head this whole time?"

Kakashi felt a little sheepish. 'Not-Iruka' and 'Not-Kakashi' worked well as names inside his head, but they were clearly not suitable for referring to them. But it did feel wrong to call him Iruka when he had an Iruka back in his world. And, well, using the name Kakashi felt wrong for other reasons.

"What should I call you?" he asked. Better to get a name directly from them. Not-Iruka looked at him with a dead stare

"Umino-sensei," he said, pointing at himself. And then he pointed toward Not-Kakashi, "Hatake-sensei. Got it?"

"Got it," Kakashi nodded in confirmation. Umino and Hatake would work much better than his old names for them anyway.

As it turned out, Umino was a science teacher. Him and Hatake both taught third year, which Kakashi reasoned was why that sat at the same table in the staff room at school. Umino was… less than enthused when Kakashi pointed that out. Something about him being a 'stalker'.

Kakashi brushed it off and went back to eating his food. All three boxed lunches were a variation of noodles. His own contained a sort of mystery meat with vegetables in a thick sauce, and the other two did not vary greatly. Hatake's seemed to not contain any meat at all, and Kakashi wondered idly for a minute if he could possibly be a vegetarian.

The hot sun beat down from overhead. They'd started moving right at sunrise that morning, which was at roughly 5am. Kakashi was thankful for the early light that came in the summer months. It was now closer to 1:30, just after the hottest part of the day. They had been keeping within the dense forest for the majority of their walk in order to escape the sun's harsh rays. Kakashi was pleasantly surprised, given the circumstances. It was obvious that Hatake and Umino were worn out, but they hadn't complained, not even once. This break was well deserved.

The three sat in silence, the ever present sound of the cicadas drowning out the noise of wooden chopsticks and slurping. It was peaceful. Kakashi knew that sunset this time of year wasn't until 7pm. His plan was to pack up and continue moving in around half an hour, which meant they would have another five hours of walking ahead of them. He knew the two teachers could handle it.

In the calm, peaceful setting, the only warning Kakashi got that something was wrong was the faint sound of rustling leaves. Dropping his food container on the bench, he looked up with wide eyes to see—

"Police! Put your hands up!"

The three of them jolted out of their seats, food now forgotten on the ground, as ten officers suddenly moved to surround them in a circle. The ominous barrels of guns were pointed at them and Kakashi had to resist shivering at the memory of his last encounter with the deadly weapon. Kakashi was expecting to run into the authorities eventually, just not nearly this quickly. He damned this world for not having chakra, for not allowing him to be able to sense their approach.

If he were by himself, this encounter wouldn't be a problem at all. But he had people he needed to protect.

"When I say 'Get down,' you get down," Kakashi whispered as the three of them slowly lifted their hands in the air, slipping into mission mode. He was thankful for his medical mask at times like these. The officers wouldn't have been able to tell that he was saying anything at all, "Understand?"

Kakashi could hear quickened breathing coming from Umino and a loud gulp from Hatake. Their eyes had flown wide open and he could tell after a quick look that their pupils had dilated from the sudden stress. But they both gave him the slightest nod to let him know they heard him. Kakashi would have to commend them later for standing their ground as well as they did, despite the circumstances.

He watched as the police slowly lowered their weapons. It was only a matter of time before they attempted to approach for the arrest. Capture, however, was out of the question. Kakashi waited until the last barrel was pointed at the ground before calling out.

"Get down!" Kakashi gave the sharp command as he gathered chakra in his feet and legs, allowing him to jump high into the air. With no less than ten guns pointed at him, he was able to anticipate the bullets this time. He could see the instant fingers began to tighten on the triggers.

He was able to time it so that just before the sudden rain of projectiles pierced through his body, Kakashi substituted himself with a nearby log. Said log, however, was covered in a dozen exploding tags that he'd created a couple days ago. The resulting explosion created a show that would without a doubt distract the officers without doing them any real harm. While they were disoriented, he shunshin'd to each one to knock them out with a sharp blow to the neck. The body armor they wore this time was much more extensive than the last, but it had its weak spots. It wasn't anything he couldn't handle.

When the smoke had cleared, he could see Umino and Hatake, crouching with their hands over their heads in front of the bench. Kakashi looked at them for another moment before he silently began dragging the unconscious bodies into the section of tall grass nearby the river bank. He wanted them to be found eventually, of course, but he wanted them hidden enough that they'd get a head start. The other two seemed to get the memo and began helping him drag the bodies.

Kakashi could hear them panting at the shock and exertion when he turned to face them. He absently noted that there were grey specks on their person, most likely ash from his exploding log substitution. Kakashi felt a sharp pain in his chest. He'd told them that he could make sure all three of them got up to Hokkaido safely. But how could he possibly do that if he couldn't even detect a few measly officers? But he shook his head, not allowing himself to dwell.

Kakashi looked again at the ash covering Umino and Hatake and realized that something wasn't right. Something was fishy about the officers showing up this soon into their journey, and he wanted to get to the bottom of it.

"I've been carefully covering our tracks, so there shouldn't have been any way they would be able to find us. I will ask you one more time," Kakashi said. He tried not to let his anger slip into his voice, but he had a funny feeling his was failing at that. Though in reality, he was more angry at himself than anyone for nearly failing, for allowing his charges to be in danger, "Do you have any tracking devices on you?"

He knew the instant Hatake's eyes shot open that the man had forgotten about something the first time he asked. The teacher hand slowly slipped into his pocket and pulled out a small device. It appeared to be a cell phone of sorts, folded in half.

"Damn," Umino said, letting out a low whistle, "The battery on mine's been dead for a while, but those things last _forever_. Who knew a _flip phone_ would be our downfall."

Hatake, with a terribly guilty look in his eyes and not a word to be spoken, handed the phone over to Kakashi. His double flinched as he broke it in half at the hinge before tossing it into the river.

"Let's move," Kakashi said, not looking at either of them, "We have a lot of ground to cover before sundown."

Umino and Hatake silently followed him.

* * *

Kakashi was keeping watch again that night. He would be fine to go one more night after this one before he was in need of sleep. The night was silent and he was expecting to not run into any more officers anytime soon. What he wasn't expecting was for Hatake to walk up to where he was sitting. His duplicate silently sat down next to him.

Hatake stared at the ground, and then at his hands, and then back at the ground. He seemed distracted by something.

"If you want to say something," Kakashi said, "then out with it."

"I…" Hatake mumbled, his voice cracking. Kakashi offhandedly wondered if the man was still sick. He continued, "I, uh, want to apologize for earlier today."

Oh.

"It's alright," he responded, at a bit of a loss of what to say. What was he supposed to tell the man? Kakashi himself was truly the one to blame for that situation with the police. He awkwardly said, "I don't blame you for what happened earlier today. It was an honest mistake."

"No," Hatake said suddenly, sharply, and Kakashi looked up at him. He was staring straight ahead when he said barely at a whisper, "I've very consistently been a fuck up my entire life. It's just the way I am. This is just one item to the long list."

"Huh," Kakashi muttered. This was most definitely not the conversation he was expecting to have. The first thought that went through his mind was how unbelievably unqualified he was to be having this conversation. He idly thought to himself that he suddenly knew how Tenzo felt whenever he had one of his frequent depressing episodes. His kohai tended to be a bit of a mother hen, always telling him to stop, trying to cheer him up when he got too self-deprecatory. But Tenzo wasn't here right now. So he did what he could.

He himself had a long history of doing things that hurt others, things that he wasn't proud of. Could that particular character trait, being a _fuck-up_ , as Hatake so eloquently put it, be a similarity that they shared across dimensions? He continued, "That's strange, because I've got quite the long list myself."

"Hm?" Hatake mumbled, his eyes lidded. Kakashi could see an all too familiar, long lived sorrow nestled deep within them. It was often the look he saw in himself when he stared at a mirror for too long. The fact that he could recognize that look in the eyes of a civilian was unnerving.

"I somehow forced one of my students to seek out a homicidal maniac for power for one," he said with a sad smile, thinking of all the ways he had failed Sasuke. He turned his head to look out into the forest.

"Hm. I've forced all of my friends out of my life of multiple occasions for selfish reasons without even realizing it," Hatake said, his voice growing softer. Kakashi let a sad smile form on his face. That was definitely something he'd been guilty of, mostly during his ANBU days. Perhaps him and Hatake were indeed more alike than he'd first realized.

"It's because of me that my best friend almost died," Kakashi said, remembering the memory of Obito being crushed by the cave in. Of not being able to save him from what he had become. But then—

"It's because of me that my father killed himself."

And that made Kakashi pause. For a second he felt like he couldn't breath in enough air. He suddenly felt like he eight years old again, standing over his father's curled up corpse after his suicide. Not _seppuku_ , because that would've been _too honorable_. No, it had been a fast acting poison that had gotten him in the end. Kakashi looked up at Hatake and froze, holding his breath.

Tears flowed freely from the man's eyes and down his cheeks. He was staring straight ahead into the darkness of the forest with a hollow, absent smile and breathed deep breaths, but Kakashi could tell he was barely keeping his composure. He could see the way the man's shoulders shivered some kind of underlaying emotion. Anger? _Fear_?

"My father," Kakashi began. He hated himself for allowing his voice to crack in the way that it did, for allowing himself to be so affected after all these years. But this was important, not just for himself, but for both of them. He wanted Hatake to hear this. He continued, "had to make an impossible choice. He made the wrong one, and the village hated him for it. So he killed himself."

"I'm gay," Hatake responded, his voice now hiccupping through the tears, "My father would never have blood related children, and his family ridiculed him. He had depression. So he killed himself."

Kakashi paused at that, but the other man didn't elaborate. If his father hadn't poisoned himself after that mission that had gone terribly wrong, Kakashi thought grimly, perhaps he'd have gone out in a similar way.

Their confessions were met by a silence drowned out by the cacophony of the forest, by the sound of the thriving life surrounding them.

They sat there in newfound mutual understanding, surrounded by the sounds of the cicadas and the crickets, the sounds of sharp intakes of breath soon added in to hide the sound of sobs.

It was the strangest therapy session he'd experienced in a while and he wasn't quite sure what to make of it. The two of them sat there in silence until the sun rose, wallowing in each other's pain, relishing each other's company.


	11. Questions

**A/N: Hello, everyone! So, vacation's going well. Felt like getting a little bit of writing in on an airplane, so here, have this present!**

 **Anyway, I wasn't planning on writing anything steamy. It was going to be an easy-going, character building chapter. And then things got a little steamy...**

 **Also, just in case it isn't clear, this is Iruka's POV. He refers to Ninja!Kakashi as Kakashi-san, and Other!Kakashi as Hatake-sensei. Cause, you know, Iruka is too polite to not use suffixes and stuff.**

 **Let me know what you think, and concrit is always welcome!**

* * *

 **Day 4**

* * *

As they'd been doing for the last few days, they trudged through the forest.

Iruka's feet were light years past being simply sore, and he was almost certain Hatake-sensei was in a similar situation. Kakashi-san, on the other hand, looked like he was doing fine. If his crazy story was to be believed, this kind of work was probably a regular occurrence for him.

Iruka had to take a moment to remind himself that following an apparent crazy superhuman was better than his and Hatake-sensei's inevitable arrest and execution. He wanted to pull his hair out at the outrageousness of the whole situation, but instead sighed and continued walking.

The night after their encounter with the police, Hatake-sensei had run off, most likely to find his double. Iruka had reluctantly stayed awake, waiting for the man's return. It had been a good idea at the time. When the sun began to rise and he still hadn't come back, however, Iruka vividly remembered letting out a loud groan in frustration.

That was three days ago.

Iruka knew something happened between the two of them. He didn't know _what_ , but it was _something_. Hatake-sensei felt lighter, somehow. Like he had a bounce to his step, like a weight was lifted off his shoulders. The new confidence was a very good look on him, Iruka thought to himself. And once the thought ran through his mind, he proceeded to banish it to the very depths of his consciousness.

Kakashi-san, however, was as stoic as ever. He'd expected that spending twenty four hours a day around the man would've made him open up, even if only just a bit.

During their lunch break that day, Iruka had even tried asking him a few questions.

"So do you have any hobbies? Things you like to do? Anything you want to do in the future?"

They'd seemed like innocent enough questions. He'd even run them Hatake-sensei to get a second opinion. What he hadn't been expecting was the typically stoic man's visible eye to widen, followed by the stark sound of laughter. He'd imagined the open smile hidden behind that damn medical mask that never seemed to leave his face. Iruka had watched, eyebrows furrowed in confusion, as the man had mimed wiping nonexistent tears away from his eye. After he'd seemed to have composed himself, Kakashi-san had surprisingly answered the questions.

"Things I like and things I hate… I don't feel like telling you that," he'd began with an inexplicable humorous undertone thick in his voice, "My dreams for the future… never really thought about it. As for my hobbies… I have lots of hobbies."

Ok, 'answered' was a _strong_ word.

There _had_ to be some sort of inside joke he hadn't been getting, with that kind of reaction from the ninja.

So Iruka had tried a different route. He'd asked about _Kakashi-san's_ Iruka. To his delight, he'd gotten a much more serious answer this time.

As it turned out, the two men didn't actually know each other all that well. Ninja-Iruka was still a teacher, but he was something called a Chuunin, while Kakashi-san was a Jounin who occasionally dabbled with the ANBU. Perhaps different ranks weren't very friendly with each other. It all sounded a little too… militaristic for his comfort. Iruka, however, still wanted to give the other version of himself a mental high five for _not_ being the lowest rank on the totem pole.

Ninja-Iruka was still a teacher, though he taught Ninja Arts instead of science. He could hear a strange sort of admiration in Kakashi-san's voice. The white haired man praised him for being able to handle any emotion or physical tasks that came his way, especially given that most of his students were less than eleven years old. He praised him for being able to always assert his individuality in a world where doing impossible things was nothing special.

It was fascinating to listen to someone talk about a different version of _himself_. Though it wasn't really himself, if he thought about it. Ninja-Iruka was his own person, with his own experiences, his own beliefs. Underneath the surface, they couldn't possibly be the same person.

Hatake-sensei then asked him about Obito.

Iruka knew only a little bit about Uchiha Obito. He had been Hatake-sensei's roommate during university. They had met their first year and had immediately hit it off. Both men had studied under Namikaze-sensei, but, if he remembered correctly, Obito had transferred after his second year. He'd wanted to live closer to Nohara Rin, who'd stayed back to study in Tokyo. The two were now happily married and were at an age where they were starting to think about children. Hatake-sensei even went into the city to see them on occasion. One could even say that they were best friends.

Something in the way Kakashi-san reacted to the name told him that Ninja-Obito had suffered a much different fate.

It took a little prying, but they were eventually able to get a small part of the story.

Kakashi-san and Ninja-Obito were on the same team growing up, but there was an accident when they were young. He didn't go into specifics, just that he wasn't able to save him. Which could only mean Ninja-Obito passed away. Iruka didn't miss the way Kakashi-san's hand rose to touch the scar over his eye as he told the story. It was a curiously specific reaction, and Iruka couldn't help but think that the accident was the cause for his scar.

Perhaps they got into some sort of knife fight with maleficent enemy ninja? It made his chest hurt at how young they were. No thirteen year old should ever be made to fight, let alone die like that.

He didn't pry any further.

They packed up their lunch, cleaned up any trace that they were there, and continued moving.

* * *

When it was finally time to settle for the night, Iruka and Hatake-sensei nearly collapsed.

They'd found a small cave to set up camp in. Kakashi-san had been very knowledgeable regarding caves that would be occupied by dangerous animals versus those that would be empty. It was the kind of knowledge that came from years of wilderness survival and it was times like these that he was grateful for the expertise.

The three of them had purchased sleeping bags the day before. A cover of sorts was very welcome in the damp cave, where the sun from the previous day couldn't warm the ground. Kakashi-san had left them in the temporary dwelling by themselves, heading outside to keep watch like he always did. That man was going to run himself ragged with how little he slept.

Iruka and Hatake-sensei sat on top of their sleeping bags, against the wall of the cave. While they were physically exhausted, they weren't ready to sleep just yet.

So they talked.

They talked about the situation they'd found themselves in, about things they'd missed about civilization, about what the future may hold. They talked about what they were going to do once they showed up at Namikaze-sensei's house as wanted criminals. They talked about how much they didn't want to get caught, and what they would do if they were.

"Hey, Iruka?" Hatake-sensei said. It never failed to make him all hot and bothered the way his first name rolled off that man's tongue. He could feel the start of a blush coming on and the intrusive thoughts making themselves apparent were too strong to suppress. The two of them were already sitting shoulder to shoulder, but Iruka's terrible, terrible mind absently wondered how it would feel for them to be even _closer_.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath to stop the groan that wanted to escape from the base of his throat. Iruka knew that he had to keep calm and in control of his thoughts. It wouldn't do for something to happen while the man was sitting right next to him. But he was still young, inexperienced, and filled with raging hormones. It was _difficult_.

"Hm?"

"Do you ever wonder… what it would be like? If we were like Ninja Me and Ninja You?"

At that, Iruka most definitely _squeaked_.

He definitely had. Iruka could sense the admiration Kakashi-san had for Ninja-Iruka. Perhaps he was reading into the situation too much, but it had felt like a bit _more_ than just admiration. But… he realized in that moment that he'd never actually felt quite that way about a man before. He'd had girlfriends, for sure, but they had consistently never turned into anything.

But something about the man sitting next to him made him feel more than he did for all those women. Iruka had realized his growing attraction not long before this whole mess started. Since they'd been on the road, constantly within arm's reach, it had festered and morphed into something unfamiliar, something intoxicating. The feeling wasn't necessarily _unwelcome_ , but it made him feel like he was charting new territory.

Perhaps Hatake-sensei was reading into whatever _this_ was the same way he was? Could that feeling of _more than admiration_ possibly be what he was alluding to?

He reminded himself of the main reason of why he'd stopped himself before trying to create something between the two of them when his attraction first became apparent. They were teachers at the same school, and any relationship between the two of them would be very illegal. It would probably also cost them both their jobs.

Jobs, he then thought, that were more than likely already lost by now. Was there… was there really anything to lose?

Iruka took a deep breath, and then another before burying his insecurities to the lowest depths of his subconscious possible. With what he was positive to be a bright red face and his heart pounding in his chest, he prayed he wasn't misreading the situation and did what he'd only dreamed of doing in his fantasies.

He closed his eyes, leaned in, and touched his lips to Hatake-sensei's.

They stayed like that for a blissful moment and Iruka felt like the breath had been stolen from his lungs when Hatake-sensei pulled away.

It was his first time kissing a man. Or even _thinking_ of kissing a man. Even though the mere touching of lips could barely be counted as a kiss. It had felt… nice. It was actually a little more than nice, Iruka thought, and he determined that he definitely wouldn't mind if it happened again.

But upon opening his eyes, he could see that the older man looked hesitant, that his face was colored pink with a faint blush. Hatake-sensei's eyebrows were hunched and his eyes didn't seem to be focused on anything. Iruka remembered then at that moment that, yes, there was something to lose if he ended up doing the wrong thing. His current hope was that he didn't just royally fuck up their relationship forever.

They stared at each other in near silence. The ever present buzzing of the cicadas echoed through the small cave, punctuated only by the soft sound of their hurried breaths.

"You know," Iruka said through his light pants, suddenly remembering the one reason that had always stopped him from acting on his desires, "it's not like we'll ever be teachers ever again."

Hatake-sensei, panting as well, seemed to contemplate that for a moment. Iruka didn't want to push the man into doing anything he didn't want to do. In fact, that was probably the _last_ thing he wanted. In what was turning into a crazy adventure in which they were on the run from the law, Iruka was loath to force him to do _anything_.

But after a minute, just as Iruka was about to turn around, say 'fuck it', and go to sleep, he heard a quiet voice. Hatake-sensei, appearing to be deep in thought, whispered, "You know, I guess you're right."

Iruka closed his eyes again and a small gasp escaped. It felt like his heart was going to burst out of his chest when Hatake-sensei suddenly leaned in and he felt lips on his once more. Iruka let out a moan and kissed just a little harder, spurring the other man into action.

Hands gently pushed at his shoulders until he fell back onto the cave floor. Iruka could feel the pebbles pushing up against the back of his shirt as Hatake-sensei fell down with him. He moaned at the sensation of a warm body over his. It was sloppy and he barely had any idea of what he was doing, so he just kissed harder against the willing mouth above him. Iruka could feel himself growing warm at Hatake-sensei's newfound assertiveness. Because honestly? It was _hot_ as _fuck_.

One hand moved to his hips as the other man's mouth devoured his own. He felt a tongue snake it's way into his mouth and he let out a small moan at the welcome intrusion. Could… could it be possible to get off from just making out alone? Eyes shuttering closed, Iruka contemplated the possibility as his hands found the waist above his own and latched on.

A small gasped escaped him and, as the other mouth moved over his, he contemplated the fact that Hatake-sensei seemed… experienced. Iruka head tilted back just a bit and he let out a moan at the mental image of the other man having done this before, with other men. He could feel a hand move up to his face and caress his cheek and another begin to rake through his hair.

A minute passed and after a particularly husky groan coming from Hatake-sensei, he unconsciously roughly rolled his hips up at the reminder of just _whose_ warm body it was above his own. He could've _sworn_ he felt something hard in the other man's pants, which only made him more excited for something more.

The action pulled a deep, throaty, desperate moan from the man above him. An incredible, indescribable heat flooded Iruka's entire body, making it all the more a shock to his system when Hatake-sensei lifted himself up just a touch. He whined at the sudden loss of contact.

"We can't do that here," he said quietly through his panting. Iruka knew he was referring to the previous hip grinding. His face was red and his lips were a little swollen. Iruka felt like his body was on fire at the knowledge of what he was doing to Hatake-sensei, that he could make the other man lose his composure like this. He could only imagined what he looked like _himself_. The man above him murmured, barely audible, "Not in a fucking cave, and not while Ninja Man's right outside."

Ok. So he didn't _not_ want more. That was good information to store away for the future. Iruka quickly grunted in response, wanting to get back to the action.

"Do you want to keep going?" the man whispered, and fuck it all if Iruka couldn't hear heavy pants punctuating each word. Iruka nodded vigorously, groaning at the other man's concern, his thoughtfulness. He whispered a small 'yeah', anything to get the man to continue doing what he was doing.

Hatake-sensei's lips quickly found his once more.

And, ever conscious of the ninja standing watch nearby, they kissed on the floor of the cave as quietly as they could until the sun rose.


	12. Pudding

**A/N: Hello everybody! Sorry for the long wait, but I had a big snafu regarding my computer crashing and ensuing massive rewrites. But, one computer later, I'm back in business!**

 **WARNING: Mature, but non-explicit descriptions of sexual activities**

 **This is the ABRIDGED VERSION, created to be FFN friendly. If you would like to read the FULL VERSION, please visit my Ao3 account with the same story title and same username.**

 **Reviews are always alwasy _always_ welcome, so please let me know what you think!**

* * *

 **Day 10**

* * *

After ten days on the road, there was a routine starting to form.

With a little over half of their journey complete, Kakashi's body was finally learning to rise with the sun. It was either that, or get rudely awakened by Ninja Man. Iruka still had no hope, so he gently shook the man awake every morning so that he too could avoid his angry double's wrath.

Ninja Man pointedly never mentioned their talk from a little over a week ago. He had noticed that it seemed the man had a new sort of respect for him, but he thankfully never brought up that little incident.

The other white haired man never spoke about it, but instead seemed intent on bringing small gifts of appeasement. It was almost as if Ninja Man was now trying to win their favor with sugar. He'd brought back the usual instant ramen and chips, occasionally throwing in some chocolate or cookies. He once brought alcohol, thinking it was soda, which was a very welcome surprise. The day that Ninja Man discovered pudding, however, was an interesting occasion.

For the first couple days of their trek, they had been sending Iruka into stores to make all of their purchases. Kakashi and Ninja Man both had white hair, which would make them instantly stick out. Iruka was the obvious choice when it came to blending into a crowd.

Iruka's face was definitely ordinary, but it wasn't that ordinary. As time went by, the three of them as a group had eventually deemed it was no longer safe to send the younger man in to get food from the convenience stores they passed along the way. There was too much of a chance now that he'd be recognized.

The new plan was to send Ninja Man in to get and supplies they needed. After all, he was the only one skilled enough to fend off possible assailants. What they didn't know, however, was Ninja Man had the magical super ability to transform into anyone he wanted.

"And you didn't tell us earlier you could do this, why?" Iruka said dryly, trying his best to hide the obvious happiness that he wouldn't be the one risking his life on a daily basis anymore.

Ninja Man, now wearing the disguise of a teenage boy eerily reminiscent of Namikaze-sensei, raised his hand to the back of his head and did that stupid laugh he always did when he was trying to avoid someone's wrath. Kakashi had noticed that even the man's voice had changed.

When the man had returned from his shopping trip carrying a bag of something that was definitely not instant ramen or chips, Kakashi's interest was piqued. He couldn't believe it, however, when Ninja Man pulled out a cup pudding with a look of pride. The dessert was still cold, with condensation gathering along the outside. Kakashi's mouth watered at the idea of the sweet taste.

"I saw this cup in the store, and I'm not sure what it is, but it had an image of a vegetable on it," Ninja Man said and… wait. What? Did… Did Ninja Man not know what he was holding? Did he not know the _amazing goodness_ that was _pudding_? He continued, "That means that this is a healthy snack, right?"

Said vegetable image was not actually part of the pudding's original packaging. It appeared to be a sticker that was part of a marketing campaign by the store to get people to choose healthier options. It was an attempt to steer people away from the fattening, creamy custard dessert. Kakashi felt like shaking his head at the sheer stupidity of the man in front of him.

"Yes, totally contains vegetables," Iruka said in a bout of dry sarcasm with a look of incredulity on his face, "Why don't you try it."

Either sarcasm wasn't a thing where Ninja Man came from, or he was simply very gullible, because he immediately made a sound of profound understanding and opened the foil lid covering the cup. He grabbed one of the small, plastic spoons out of the bag.

Kakashi could swear he could feel excessive amounts of drool forming at the way the spoon pierced the surface of the creamy dessert.

The spoon lifted a mouthful of custard-y goodness up to the man's mouth and it seemed to somehow… slid under his medical mask without ever revealing his face. He was pretty sure that Ninja Man wasn't even sick at this point. Perhaps he was hiding an embarrassing birthmark or something.

Ninja Man had purchased three cups of pudding. The shapes of the cups were clearly visible through the small plastic bag he held, now that he knew what he was looking at. Kakashi had assumed that the existence of three cups meant that there would be one for each of them. It would sure be a pleasant surprise on a hot summer day to have a nice, cold cup of pudding. That assumption was soon proven to be false. He could see the man contemplate the flavor of the dessert before seeing his visible eye noticeably widen.

Staring off into space with a single wide eye, Ninja Man placed the plastic spoon in the mostly full cup he was holding. Then, with his now free hand, he slowly deposited both of the unopened pudding cups into the small pack he always wore at his hip. Kakashi looked at Iruka, whose eyebrows hunched at the unfortunate idea of no longer getting pudding. Both of them then focused on his double in silence as he resumed eating. He soon scraped out the last of the dessert from the cup and let out a sigh.

"Well, that was a nice break," Ninja Man said, ignoring their expressions of disbelief. He somehow conveyed a gleeful smile through his eye as he began walking along the path once more, "Off we go!"

Kakashi and Iruka groaned in unison as they followed behind him, ever cognizant of the hot sun beating down on them.

* * *

Kakashi, Iruka, and Ninja Man stopped their hike as lunchtime rolled around.

They were deep in the woods at this point, which was an unfortunate necessity that came with running from the law. Being close to civilization typically tended to make the whole not being arrested thing difficult. They still needed food, however, along with other supplies that were necessary for survival. Kakashi smiled to himself when Ninja Man had volunteered to go find the nearest convenience store. He had seen how fast the man could run through the trees, but they were still in a pretty remote area. He guessed that they would have roughly an hour before his return.

That meant that Kakashi had roughly an hour to make Iruka fall apart in his arms.

Without books, movies, or music, he and Iruka had to find other ways of entertaining themselves. They'd soon begun to use every moment alone that they had to explore each other emotionally and physically. Kakashi definitely wasn't complaining at the arrangement, and he wondered what had really stopped him from starting something all this time.

The younger man had been the first to make a move. He nearly pounced on Kakashi once Ninja Man was out of sight, taking over his mouth. He let out a small yelp at the speed of the other man and felt a tongue clumsily asking for entrance. He opened his mouth, moaning into the sudden kiss.

It had been obvious at this point that Iruka had never had sexual relations with a man before. Perhaps he'd never even had sexual relations before at all. Kakashi didn't mind, though. He was more than happy to take things slow.

They'd kissed every single day since that night. It had been a pleasant surprise, learning the extent of the other teacher's lust for him, and Kakashi couldn't help himself but want more. Of course, he would only take what was given to him. Whatever Iruka was willing to try, he would help guide him through.

Communication was paramount. Enthusiastic consent was important, especially when they were outside, in a fucking forest. He wanted Iruka to be comfortable, no matter the location. And so he kissed the other man's neck for just another minute, sucked in by the way Iruka lifted his chin to give him more access.

They had soon settled on the ground so that Iruka's back was up against a tree and Kakashi was kneeling on his lap. But as nice as kissing was, they only had a limited amount of alone time. He wanted to try something.

After a minute, Kakashi mustered up the most seductive voice he could manage and whispered into Iruka's ear, "May I give you a blowjob?"

It was the first time he'd suggested something like this, something further than kissing or touching with hands. Kakashi acknowledged that it wasn't the sexiest thing he could've said, but that didn't seem to matter. He heard what could only be described as a squeak coming from beneath him. Iruka was beyond words at this point, but he franticly nodded his head up and down after a second at the suggestion. But that wasn't good enough.

"I need a verbal 'yes' or 'no' before I continue, 'Ruka," he said softly, licking the shell of the man's ear. Whether the man moaned at the use of his tongue or the way 'Ruka' slipped out of his mouth, he didn't know. All he knew was that Iruka was underneath him and definitely willing.

"Yes, god, do whatever the fuck you want," the younger man finally said. Kakashi smiled onto the man's skin, snaking his kisses back down to his neck, to that spot that never failed to make him moan. There were so, so many things he wanted to do to this man. But he would settle for just this for now.

He felt hands firmly grip his shoulders as he began to move down to the man's pants. The gasp out of Iruka's mouth at him leaving his neck soon turned into a groan as he placed soft kisses down the man's shirt. Kakashi smiled as he could feel the trembling muscles underneath the thin cotton before making his way to the zipper.

Suddenly, Kakashi felt the sharp heel of a shoe kick the middle of his back. He was startled for a second before looking up to see Iruka, flustered bright red, with a scowl marring his face. Practically squirming, he whined, "Hurry the fuck up already. We don't have all day."

Kakashi chuckled it off, recomposing himself. He felt a slight phantom stab of pain on his back and he thought to himself that the younger man probably didn't know his own strength. If this were any other partner, he would've stopped on the spot at the incredibly rude action. But this was Iruka, so did as he was told.

Moving his mouth up to Iruka's face, he kissed him thoroughly. He slowly moved his hands to the man's zipper. Kakashi gripped the tab and pulled agonizingly slowly.

The younger man tilted his head back just a touch and gripped onto his shoulders even tighter. Kakashi wanted to make the man in his arms fall apart from the sensation. He wanted to be able to mold him like wet clay, soft and malleable.

Kakashi pulled away to look at Iruka's face. He looked thoroughly debauched, even though they had yet to really start. His face was bright red and his mouth was wide open, slightly swollen from their extended kiss. Kakashi could see the beginnings of drool forming on the tip of his tongue. He smirked at Iruka and, with arms holding his legs open, he lowered himself, ready to rock this man's world.

He teased. He waited a moment, then another. Kakashi waited with a smirk until Iruka let out the most delicious, needy whine he'd ever heard in his life.

Hands gripped his head with fingers entwined in his hair, softly at first, but then tighter as they began to move together as one.

Kakashi could feel the zipper scratch his chin but payed it no mind. He went slowly at first, allowing Iruka to acclimate to the new, unfamiliar sensation. Because with how the man was reacting to his ministrations, he was pretty sure this was a new experience for him. He'd have to ask him afterward.

When he felt the grip on his head tighten, Kakashi sped up. Judging by the moans he was letting out, Iruka was no doubt close. So he continued, pulling out every trick he knew, until the man was yelling with his back arched.

It didn't matter how loud he cried out in ecstasy, Kakashi thought to himself. They were deep in the forest. Nobody was around to hear but the cicadas. And so his new goal was to make Iruka scream.

Kakashi knew the man was right on the edge. He was planning on finishing it off with a bang, on doing some unique things with his tongue he'd learned over the years, when the hands in his hair adjusted into a proper death grip, holding him in place.

Well. That was alright, too, he supposed. In a quick change of plans, Kakashi decided to improvise instead.

Iruka nearly howled as he finished. Kakashi let him figure out what he wanted to do, content to continue tasting the man for the moment.

After a minute, the younger man seemed to realize he was still being held down there and drew back his hands as if they'd been burned. Kakashi chuckled to himself as he sat up, listening to the man profusely apologize for his forceful behavior. It was sort of cute, he thought, that the man could be so assertive when aroused, but so shy and bashful after the fact.

Kakashi told him he was fine, that he only cared that Iruka enjoyed the experience. It was true, after all. He wanted to make sure the younger man was relaxed and happy, even if that meant putting Iruka's pleasure before his own. They both panted breathlessly as Kakashi continued to kneel on his lap.

"Do you want me to…" Iruka suddenly said with a small gasp, clearly still dazed from their encounter. Kakashi noticed he was looking pointedly at his own crotch, where his pants were noticeably tighter than they should have been. He smiled at his offer, but he didn't want to overwhelm the poor man. It wouldn't do to push him into doing an act he would be uncomfortable with.

"Nah, it's alright," Kakashi said. He attempted to make Iruka somewhat presentable before slowly moving to his side to lean up against the tree, trying avoid any unnecessary friction on his arousal. When he felt their shoulders touch, he added in a softer voice, "That was more than enough for now. Another time, I promise."

Iruka seemed satisfied with his answer and continued to ride out his high. Kakashi suddenly felt something hard nestle up against his shoulder. He felt a pleasant warmth in his belly when he turned to see the younger man using him as a pillow. He smiled and leaned his head against Iruka's before closing his eyes. Arms snaked around his as Iruka moved closer, pushing his head into his neck. Kakashi was not surprised to find out that the younger man was the cuddling type. He was more than content to sit like that for as long as possible.

Kakashi then felt the vibration of a mouth mumbling something into his neck. He looked down at the younger man, whose face was completely hidden from view.

"You're going to have to speak up a bit," he said with a hint of humor in his voice. Iruka's face then popped up from its place on his shoulder.

The younger man squinted at him with his lips pursed. They stared at each other like that for a second before Kakashi raised his eyebrows, signalling him to continue. Iruka seemed to take a second to get all of his thoughts in order before finally saying, "I really wanted some fucking pudding."

Kakashi couldn't help but chuckle at the unexpected response. Iruka was clearly not pleased with his response by the way he pushed his face back into the spot where his neck and shoulder met. That spot had started to get cold in his absence.

"Me, too," he softly said after a minute. Iruka mumbled something into his neck, but didn't make a further effort to make himself understood.

When Ninja Man finally returned around twenty minutes later, he didn't mention how Iruka's face was slightly redder than usual, or how they both seemed to be slightly out of breath. Kakashi was able to talk himself into believing that meant his double was completely clueless about what they'd been up to when he'd been gone.

Yeah. Clueless.

* * *

That night had been nothing special. Just like their mornings, it had become somewhat of a routine. They would find a suitable place to set up camp, Iruka and Ninja Man would argue about the merits of actually sleeping every night, said Ninja Man would go jump up into a tree, and then he and Iruka would settle down.

It was like clockwork, every night.

Watching as Ninja Man jumped up into the trees, Kakashi placed his sleeping bag in the spot on the ground behind Iruka. They'd kept the zippers on one side open so that they could lay together underneath the cover. He always welcomed the younger man's warmth. They lay still like that, bodies touching each other through their clothing, until they were sure Ninja Man had settled into his watch post for the night.

Then, using the noise of the cicadas as a cover, they did what they'd been doing every night for the past six days and silently kissed for half an hour before going to sleep.

* * *

 **A/N: Quick note - the pudding mentioned in the first part of this chapter is specifically _Japanese_ pudding. It is very similar to what is known as flan in the US. And yes, it is the dessert of the gods.**


End file.
